Monthly Archives: July 2016

The suicide of a former ultra-Orthodox mother of seven stuns Israel

31 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by in Health and Well-Being, Israel/Zionism, Life Cycle, Stories, Women's Rights

≈ 2 Comments

“In this city I gave birth to my daughters – in this city I die because of my daughters….I understand that I am sick and needy, and I don’t want to continue to be a burden on you….Don’t make much effort for the ceremony, something modest with a lot of flowers, and remember that this is what I chose as best for me, and also if you say that I am selfish, I accept and understand your lack of understanding.”

So wrote Esti Weinstein, 50, in a suicide note found alongside her body in her car that was discovered four days after her death at a beach in the city of Ashdod, Israel.

I learned of Esti’s story not from the media, though her suicide was headline news in Israel at the end of June, but from one of my synagogue’s regular cantorial soloists a day after her body had been discovered.

Meni Philip was Esti’s friend. Like Esti, Meni had left the ultra-Orthodox Haredi world in Israel in which he was raised. Both Esti and Meni were disowned by their parents and community and were cut as if by a surgeon’s knife by their Haredi community away from everything and everyone they knew and loved.

Meni (47) is the second child of eleven siblings and the father of five children. His marriage had been arranged, but he never loved his wife. At 32 Meni asked his rabbi for a get (a religious divorce). He continued to live in the ultra-Orthodox Haredi community doing all that was expected of him religiously, though he had come to no longer believe in the God that had been taught to him by his rabbis. Four years after his divorce, though continuing regularly to see his parents and children, he could no longer keep up religious appearances, took off his kippah and began wearing western clothing. He didn’t anticipate, however, that he would become persona non grata. His family, rabbis and friends suddenly would have nothing to do with him. He was denied visiting his children. Yet, he persevered, built a new life, learned survivor skills, acquired work, and became a filmmaker.

Four of Meni’s siblings followed him out of the Haredi community. Today, he has reconciled with his parents and children.

Such was not the positive outcome for Esti Weinstein, the mother of seven daughters all of whom save one, Tami,  completely cut ties with her.

Esti comes from a prominent Gur Hasidic family, a stringent Haredi sect considered extreme even by others in ultra-Orthodox world. Husbands never address their wives by name. Sexual contact between them is considered a sacrilege and is engaged only for the purpose of procreation. Sex occurs rarely, quickly, while fully clothed, and devoid of emotion, intimacy, and joy. (http://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/gur-hasidim-and-sexual-separation-1.410811)

After leaving her community, Esti suffered. She wrote an autobiography (that Meni sent to me) in which she told her inside story in a 183-page book she called “Doing His Will.” Esti dedicated the volume to her daughter Tami who followed her out of the Gur sect and who remained close to her. She wrote as well of her marriage, the loss of her other six daughters and about a previous suicide attempt.

In a story reported by The Times of Israel one can view photos of Esti (see below). She was a natural beauty, but beneath the lovely smiling images was a profound sadness. She ended her book with these words:

“…my life of motherhood, the painful, that is smashed to pieces, sick and wounded….I thought it was a temporary matter, but the years are passing and time isn’t healing, and the pain doesn’t stop.” http://www.timesofisrael.com/before-suicide-woman-penned-book-about-her-ordeals-in-ultra-orthodox-world/ – see also http://forward.com/news/343780/ex-hasidic-womans-suicide-book-rattles-ultra-orthodox-world/

Meni told me that there are hundreds and perhaps thousands of former mostly young Haredim in their 20s living in Israel who have left their communities over the years. It is unclear what is causing the increasing number of suicides in this unique population, though it is clear that many had been disowned by their families. Some may have suffered depression before they left, and many experienced as children sexual abuse and later as adults spousal abuse.

Meni made a film called “Sinner” which won the “Best European Short Film” in the Venice Film Festival, Italy 2009. (the 27-minute film can be viewed here in its entirety – http://www.meniphilip.com/english/Sinner.html)

There is one underfunded organization in Israel called Hillel (not the same as the college organization) that offers help and support for ex-Haredim. Meni received such support as did Esti who had volunteered there and where Esti and Meni met and became friends. Additionally, there are two more small but important organizations that were established by Meni’s good friends after the deaths of two young “Yozim” (those who leave) a few years ago. One is called “Uvacharta-And Choose” (see https://www.facebook.com/uvacharta/?fref=ts) and the other called “Out for Change – Yozim l’shinuy” (https://www.facebook.com/yozimleshinuy/. The first focuses on social support, and the second focuses on educational assistance. Neither receives financial support from the government.

The Reform movement’s Israeli Religious Action Center (IRAC) assists individuals who leave Haredi communities through its social justice program Keren B’chavod. Israeli Reform Rabbis tell me that the Reform movement’s 45 synagogue communities around the country are open to any ex-Haredi Jew who seeks support and comfort.

May Esti’s memory be a blessing.

What makes for a great leader

28 Thursday Jul 2016

Posted by in American Politics and Life, Ethics, Quote of the Day

≈ 1 Comment

There can be no doubt that President Obama’s address last evening at the DNC transcended partisanship and articulated brilliantly the exceptionalism of the American experience. Republicans, Democrats and Independents were all moved by the President’s rhetorical skills and vision. Indeed, we may not see such an extraordinary Presidential address for another generation, which has lead me to reflect on what makes for a great leader.

Great leadership certainly requires a hefty measure of intelligence, clarity of vision and strong character, and it helps if the individual has great rhetorical skills. But, as Bill Clinton said the night before, giving speeches is the fun part. Great leadership requires something else – hard work day in and day out over time.

I offer here reflections from Jewish tradition and beyond on the theme of leadership:

“Rabban Gamaliel, in appointing two rabbis to posts of authority, said to them: You apparently suppose that I am about to bestow rulership upon you. What I am bestowing upon you is servitude, as it’s said, ‘And they spoke unto him, saying: If you will be servant until this people…’ (I Kings 12:7). The verse teaches you that the one who is appointed over a community becomes the servant of the community.” -Talmud Bavli, Horayot 10a-b; Yalkut Shimoni 1 Kings 197

“The ideal public leader is one who holds seven attributes: wisdom, humility, reverence, loathing of money, love of truth, love of humanity, and a good name.” –Rambam, Hilchot Sanhedrin 2.7

“The best test [of a servant-leader] and difficult to administer is: do those served grow as persons; do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants?” -R.K. Greenleaf – “Servant Leadership”

“Rabbi Eleazar said: Any leader who guides a community gently will merit guiding it in the world to come.” –Talmud Bavli, Sanhedrin 92a

“It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory and when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.” -Nelson Mandela

“The boss drives his/her [employees]; the leader coaches them.
The boss depends upon authority, the leader on goodwill.
The boss inspires fear; the leader inspires enthusiasm.
The boss says ‘I’; the leader, ‘we.’
The boss fixes the blame for the breakdown; the leader fixes the breakdown.
The boss knows how it is done; the leader shows how.
The boss says ‘Go’; the leader says ‘Let’s go!’ -Harry Gordon Selfridge, Sr.

“Whether you are an insurance executive or a school principal, you simply cannot be effective without behaving in a morally purposeful way.” – Michael Fullan, Canadian educational researcher and former dean of the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education (OISE)

“The character and qualifications of the leader are reflected in the people s/he selects, develops and gathers around her/him. Show me the men/women and I will know their leader.” -Arthur W. Newcomb, writer and businessman

“Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm.” -Publilius Syrus, Roman author, 1st century B.C.E.

“The true lawgiver ought to have a heart full of sensibility. He ought to love and respect his kind, and to fear himself.” –Edmund Burke, Irish statesman, 18th century

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” –President John Quincy Adams

“If you say something outside the consensus, you create enemies. The less you say, the less trouble. That is a basic political truism. But it is not the stuff great leaders are made of.” –Uri Avinery, Israeli political leader, journalist and activist

“You must be headlights and not tail-lights.” –Representative John Lewis, US Congress, Georgia

“Leadership is a passionate activity. It begins with a warm gratitude toward that which you have inherited and a fervent wish to steward it well. It is propelled by an ardent moral imagination, a vision of a good society that can’t be realized in one lifetime. It is informed by seasoned affections, a love of the way certain people concretely are and a desire to give all a chance to live at their highest level. This kind of leader is warm-blooded and leads with full humanity.” –David Brooks, NY Times columnist

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.” –Emanuel James “Jim” Rohen, American entrepreneur, author and speaker

“…American leadership is not simply a matter of going it alone and bearing all of the burden ourselves. Real leadership creates the conditions and coalitions for others to step up as well; to work with allies and partners so that they bear their share of the burden and pay their share of the costs, and to see that the principles of justice and human dignity are upheld by all.” –President Barack Obama

Narcissism defined – Evaluating Donald Trump

27 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by in American Politics and Life, Health and Well-Being

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Many psychiatrists and psychologists have reflected about the personality of Donald Trump and whether or not he is a borderline personality and narcissist.

Below is an excellent article from last week’s NY Times that discusses the Narcissistic personality disorder.

The Narcissist Next Door  – By JANE E. BRODY – NYTimes – July 18, 2016
Know anyone who is highly competitive, and portrays himself as a winner and all others as losers?
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/07/18/the-narcissist-next-door/?em_pos=small&emc=edit_hh_20160722&nl=well&nl_art=0&nlid=61675258&ref=headline&te=1

I have learned to stay clear of narcissistic people as they are very difficult to deal with, impenetrable to constructive criticism, lack self-insight, criticize everyone around them, take no responsibility for themselves, and insist that everyone accommodate to them at all times.

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“No End of Conflict – Rethinking Israel-Palestine” by Yossi Alpher – A review

24 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by in Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity, Social Justice

≈ 2 Comments

“No End of Conflict – Rethinking Israel-Palestine” by Yossi Alpher (2016) is an important read for anyone seeking clarity about the past and future of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Alpher was an officer for 12 years in the Mossad, a former Director of the Jaffee Center for Strategic Studies at Tel Aviv University, and a special advisor to Prime Minister Ehud Barak during the 2000 Camp David talks. From 2001-2012 he coedited an Internet dialogue between Israelis and Palestinians called “Bitterlemons.” Though he still believes that the only solution to the conflict is a negotiated two states for two peoples agreement that settles all issues, he has come to the conclusion that getting to this end goal cannot happen all at once and will require new thinking on both sides and a new paradigm that diverges markedly from the Oslo process that set the course for all negotiations since including the 2000 Camp David effort, the 2007 Olmert-Abbas secret negotiations and the 2013-14 Kerry Initiative.

Alpher critiques those efforts and all options that are now being considered among which are one democratic but no longer Jewish state, one Jewish but no longer a democratic state, two governments in a larger one state confederation, and two states for two peoples.

One would think that after more than 20 years since PM Rabin and PLO Chairman Arafat shook hands on the White House lawn that by now all issues would have been resolved. Alpher explains why this has not happened and quotes the clear-sighted David Ben Gurion from a speech he gave in 1919 to explain the fundamental source of the conflict:

“Everybody sees a difficulty in the question of relations between Arabs and Jews. But not everybody sees that there is no solution to this question … I do not know what Arab will agree that Palestine should belong to the Jews …We, as a nation, want this country to be ours; the Arabs, as a nation, want this country to be theirs.”

For the core conflict to be addressed successfully will require that the two conflicting narratives change in the spirit of compromise and peaceful co-existence.

The Palestinian narrative understands Israel as a foreign entity created “in sin” by colonial forces. Palestine is Islamic Waqf land and is sovereign only to Muslims. Jews are not a people nor do they have national or historic roots in the Holy Land.

The Zionist narrative dates Jewish origins in the land to the time of Abraham (3600 years ago – confirmed by archeological and literary evidence) and that Jews have an ancient and legitimate claim to the land of Israel as its historic national home. Jews understand Judaism as far more than a religion, that it is a civilization with an ancestral land, history, language, legal and literary tradition, ethics, faith, and culture.

As time has passed the two narratives have become more deeply entrenched leading the two peoples to regard the conflict as a zero-sum game. One has to lose for the other to win, and there is an ever-closing window that can accommodate a win-win compromise.

As Jewish settlements spread throughout the West Bank making a future contiguous Palestinian state more difficult to achieve, right-wing nationalist and messianic Israelis have taken over the Israeli government. In this Alpher worries that Israel is firmly on track to become a one-state bi-national reality. He warns that should this occur, the Jewish democratic state of Israel will come to an end.

Alpher carefully reviews seven suggested “solutions” and recalls Albert Einstein’s observation that insanity is defined as repeating actions over and over and expecting a different result. To change the result Alpher calls upon Israel and the Palestinians to initiate a new paradigm for negotiations that leaves for a later time the evolution of each people’s narratives to accommodate the other.

He identifies two very different sets of issues, one that emerged after 1948 and the other after 1967. All negotiations to date have failed, he says, because both sets of issues have been considered together and the parties have agreed that “nothing is agreed until everything is agreed upon,” effectively dooming a resolution of the conflict. He argues that instead of completing the negotiations now, Israel and the Palestinians ought to work towards a partial two-state solution the conclusion of which will likely have to be negotiated by future generations of Israelis and Palestinians after a period in which peaceful co-existence will be achieved.

Post-1948 issues for the Palestinians include addressing their humiliating loss of their land and their flight and expulsion from the land with regard to the right of refugees to return to the homes they left.

Post-1948 issues for Israel include achieving recognition by the Palestinians of the legitimate right of the Jewish people to a national home of their own and to their security from terror and war.

Post-1967 issues for Palestinians include establishing a Palestinian state that includes sovereignty, borders, a capital city in Jerusalem, security and the final disposition of Jewish settlements and Jews in the state of Palestine.

Post-1967 issues for Israel include establishing final international borders between the two states that are roughly drawn along the Green Line with land swaps so as to include large settlement blocs in the state of Israel, thus assuring Israel’s democracy and Jewish majority.

In all past negotiations there has been much progress on post-1967 issues, but no progress on post-1948 issues. The Palestinians have refused to compromise on the right of every refugee to return to his/her home because compromising means having to accept the fundamental premise of the Zionist narrative that Jews have a legitimate claim to Israel as its national home. The Israelis insist that the Palestinians recognize the state of Israel as a “Jewish state” and that Israel will not allow an unlimited number of refugees to return to Israel. Alpher says those issues must be left to a later time.

He makes the case that negotiations henceforth ought to separate post-1967 issues from post-1948 issues and deal only with the former. Should negotiations be successful on those post-1967 issues, the Palestinians would achieve their state, sovereignty, national dignity, and security, and Israel would achieve internationally recognized borders, maintain its Jewish and democratic character, and dramatically reduce the risks of violence and war. Israel would also likely be received more openly by moderate Arab and Muslim states in the region, and its western allies’ relationships would be strengthened, the BDS movement’s appeal would diminish and the world Jewish community now fractured would rally as one to her support.

PA President Abbas has already agreed to demilitarize the future Palestinian state and to allow Israeli and international combined forces to be stationed along the Jordan River for a period of time, to be determined. PMs Barak and Olmert both already agreed that Jerusalem could become the capital city of both states.

Alpher insists that no more than this can be achieved at this time and that we continue with the status quo at our peril.

Is he correct? Or is it still possible for Israel and the Palestinians to compromise on their respective narratives to achieve an end-of-conflict two-state solution?

Alpher says “No!”

This book will challenge readers to think differently about this seemingly intractable conflict and what might be necessary to address the many concrete pragmatic issues (post-1967) between Israel and the Palestinians before it is too late and a one-state bi-national entity destroys Jewish and Zionist dreams.

J’accuse! My shock in watching the RNC

21 Thursday Jul 2016

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Divrei Torah, Ethics, Jewish Identity

≈ 5 Comments

I have been stunned by the intensity of vitriol coming from the mouths of many speakers and delegates at the Republican National Convention this week, far more than I expected.

“Guilty!” “Guilty!” “Guilty!” “Murderer!” “Lucifer!” “Lock her up!” Put her “in stripes!” She’s “a piece of garbage!” She deserves “the firing line and [to be] shot for treason.”

No one from the podium challenged any of this disgusting rhetoric. To the contrary, though not all speakers are guilty of uttering the slander, none protested and so, citing Heschel, all are responsible.

I say “J’accuse!”

Thank goodness Shabbat is coming and we Jews have a chance to withdraw from the hatred and r‘chilut to reflect on matters of soul, ethics, civility, and common decency.

This week’s Torah portion “Balak” inspired the rabbis of old to consider the impact that different leadership proclivities and visions have had in the personages of the prophets Abraham and Balaam.

Balaam was a non-Jewish prophet who blessed the Israelites instead of cursing them after Balak, the King of Moab, paid Balaam to do this on his behalf:

“Mah tovu o-ha-lecha Yaakov mish’ke-no-techa Yisrael –
How good are your tents of Jacob, your dwelling places O Israel.” (Numbers 24:5)

The Pirkei Avot 5:22 notes:

“Whoever has the following three traits is among the disciples of our ancestor, Abraham, and whoever has three different traits is among the disciples of the wicked Balaam. Those with a good eye (ayin tovah), a generous soul (ruach n’mu-chah) and a humble spirit (nefesh sh’la–lah) are disciples of our ancestor Abraham. Those with  an evil eye (ayin ra-ah), an arrogant spirit (ruach g’vo-hah) and a greedy soul (nefesh r’chavah) are disciples of the wicked Balaam.”

On the surface, it seems that Balaam hasn’t done anything really wrong. Yet, Balaam was blinded by greed and impatient to reap his reward in cursing the Israelites.

The Midrash compares Abraham and Balaam. Though both are prophets, they differ in the way they perceive God. Abraham finds God even when hidden. Balaam can’t see God or God’s angel even when they’re standing in front of him. Abraham turns his perception into a blessing. Balaam turns his perception into a curse. Balaam’s prophetic potential is as great as Abraham’s even though Balaam sought to sell his soul to the highest bidder. Abraham never considered cursing anyone.

At Sodom and Gemorrah on behalf of the people Abraham bargained, cajoled and persuaded God to spare the community if he could find but one righteous person in it saying, “Shall not the Judge of the whole world not act justly?” (Genesis 18:25) For this, the Mishnah describes Abraham as being possessed of a “good eye” (ayin tovah).  Although the Sodomites were filled with evil doing, Abraham looked for a way to ameliorate their fate and save them.

Balaam’s “bad eye” (ayin ra-ah) drew him to his own material enrichment. This prophet was corruptible and tempted by power, wealth and station. Rashi wrote that though Balaam seemed to reject silver and gold, he actually craved it.

Thus, the rabbis contrasted Balaam’s arrogant and grasping nature (ruach g’vohah) with Abraham’s generosity (ruach n’mucha). That generosity took the form of hospitality. Abraham’s tent opened to the world. He welcomed every stranger and embraced all people.

The ideal of prophetic leadership is exemplified by Abraham whose example reminds us of the leaders we need and the kind of people we ourselves ought to strive to be, especially in times such as these when blinding hatred has filled the hearts of so many millions of Americans.

We all ought to strive to be more like Abraham who resisted demonizing and dehumanizing others, whose good eye can glimpse the blessing that peace can bring, whose generous spirit can open the heart to nurture community, whose humility can enable the recognition that every human being is created “b’tzelem Elohim – in the divine image” (Genesis 3:4).

Shabbat shalom.

Anti-anxiety Shabbat – coping during these difficult days

16 Saturday Jul 2016

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Jewish Identity

≈ 4 Comments

No one should be surprised that so many Americans feel anxious these days. Consider all that’s happened in the last 16 years, the cumulative effect of which has led to the state of our national psyche today:

The contested 2000 Presidential election – the rise of Al Qaeda, international terrorism and 9/11 – the Afghan War and the US invasion of Iraq – the mortgage and banking crisis, the 2008 economic melt-down and the loss of jobs – the changing US multi-cultural demography that helped bring about the election of the first African American President and the corresponding nativist resentment and racism – the rise of the Tea Party and its right-wing Congressional obstructionism – the Arab Spring and the Arab Winter along with intensifying Middle East violence – ISIS –  Syria’s civil war and the massive refugee crisis pouring into neighboring Arab countries and Europe – America’s daily gun violence and terrorism at Sandy Hook, San Bernardino, Baton Rouge, Milwaukee and Dallas – not to mention attacks in Istanbul, Paris, Brussels, and Nice – and today the military coup (?)  in Turkey – and the demoralizing 2016 Presidential campaign.

As these events occurred, social media and the 24-hour news cycle covered everything in great detail inundating us with its cacophony.

A great deal has changed in our world in recent years to be sure, for better and worse. Even good change is difficult for many of us to absorb, but when the changes are negative and destructive our lives feel more difficult.

Our fellow citizens are divided and polarized from each other at a depth that we haven’t experienced since the 1960s. We’re more distrusting, cynical and fearful of each other, and, according to a study reported on this week in the New York Times, there is a definitive link between racism with political party affiliation. Our politics have become the battleground of so much that ails us – between fear and reason, negativity and hope, nativism and internationalism, multi-culturalism and cosmopolitanism, red and blue, right and left.

Dr. Martin Luther King put it right when he said long ago; “People don’t get along because they fear each other. People fear each other because they don’t know each other. They don’t know each other because they haven’t properly communicated with each other.”

Can there be any doubt that we Americans need more contact with one another across racial, ethnic, religious, and political lines so we can come to know and understand one another better as human beings? That was the impetus of an essay by George Sanders that appeared in last week’s New Yorker on who Donald Trump supporters are beyond the stereotype of an angry white uneducated mostly male voter.

This said, our anxieties cloud the mind and make it difficult for reasoned discussion and a meeting of minds and hearts. Most Americans across the political and ethnic landscape wonder how we can best assure our own safety, the safety of our children, our civil society, and our sanity as a nation.

Health care professions identify a number of coping strategies that can help calm the nerves and center us:

1. When we feel anxious, take a time-out and remember to breathe;

2. Eat well-balanced meals and drink plenty of water;

3. Limit consumption of alcohol and caffeine, both of which aggravate anxiety and trigger panic attacks;

4. Disconnect regularly from the news, the Internet and social media thereby diminishing the fragmentation that results when we encounter disturbing news;

5. Sleep 7 to 8 hours nightly;

6. Exercise daily;

7. Meditate, do Yoga, pray;

8. Read fine literature and poetry; listen to inspiring music; visit museums and art galleries; drink in the life-affirming creativity of others;

9. Get out into nature;

10. Be with family and friends;

11. Celebrate Shabbat;

12. Learn Torah;

13. Correct societal wrongs;

14. Change what we can and accept what we can’t change.

These strategies can help alleviate some of the anxiety we feel. But, it’s important to understand that not all anxiety is necessarily bad. There are, indeed, real threats out there, and the adrenaline rush that comes when we feel threatened can serve us well at times.

We need to be able, however, to distinguish real risks and dangers from imaginary ones, and to be able to stand in the shoes of the “other,” understand who they are as individuals, and why they may think and react as they do when their thinking and responses seem so foreign to us.

These past weeks have been particularly disheartening for Americans as a whole. President Obama reminded us in Dallas last week that, regardless of our differences, we share far more in common than what distinguishes us.

All Americans want to feel safe in their homes and on the streets, to raise their children, enjoy their families, friends and communities, earn a living wage, and make a positive difference in the world.

We Jews, I suggest, need Shabbat more now than ever as an anti-anxiety strategy, for Shabbat is our time to step away from the negative and destructive, to reconnect with community and faith, to emphasize the good and creative, to breathe in Shabbat peace and exhale anxiety, fear, fragmentation, and cynicism, and to celebrate the many blessings that are ours every day.

Shabbat shalom.

“Reform, Conservative Leaders to Netanyahu: Incitement Against Us Could Lead to Bloodshed” – Haaretz headline this week

12 Tuesday Jul 2016

Posted by in American Jewish Life, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity, Social Justice, Women's Rights

≈ 2 Comments

Eight months ago, following two years of intense negotiations between representatives of the Reform and Conservative movements, the North American Jewish Federations, Women of the Wall, and the Ultra-Orthodox Chief Rabbi of the Wall, an agreement was reached to create an independent egalitarian prayer space in the Southern Kotel Plaza.

The agreement stipulated that this plaza would be designed by a leading world architect and would be equivalent in size to the traditional Northern Kotel Plaza. The liberal streams and Women of the Wall would control and oversee how prayer services would be conducted without interference from the Ultra-Orthodox or Chief Rabbi of the Wall. A common entrance to the plaza would be shared by all worshipers with equal sight lines to the Northern and Southern Plazas.

Right-wing ultra-Orthodox extremist rabbis and their communities have risen up in protest using incendiary rhetoric and threats.

Prime Minister Netanyahu, though stating that the entirety of the Jewish people must feel “at home” in Israel and at our holy sites, has back-pedaled and sought to reopen negotiations that would effectively kill the original agreement.  Our leadership has told him that a deal is a deal and that any change now is unacceptable.

The Prime Minister is fearful of losing the ultra-Orthodox parties in his government and being forced either to  form a new government or to call new elections. There are times, and this is one of those times, that the best interests of the Jewish people are more important than cow-towing to an extremist minority.

Our movement leadership, frustrated by the Prime Minister’s and government’s inaction, has decided to take this matter to the Israeli High Court.

In the meantime and until the egalitarian plaza can be built, the liberal coalition will conduct prayer services in the large Kotel Plaza. Our leadership this week warned the Prime Minister that we fear violence against us by the ultra-Orthodox. In a letter to the Prime Minister, the liberal coalition stated:

“We expect that the police will protect us as we exercise our legal rights, and we are stating plainly that absent a clear and a strong response, the current wave of incitement and violence might lead to bloodshed, as seen in the streets of Jerusalem during last year’s Pride parade…” At the Gay Pride parade in Jerusalem last year, 16-year-old Shira Banki was stabbed to death by an ultra-Orthodox Jew.” (“Reform, Conservative Leaders to Netanyahu: Incitement Against Us Could Lead to Bloodshed” – by Judy Maltz, Haaretz, July 11, 2016 – http://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/1.730200):

It is time for Prime Minister Netanyahu to fulfill his pledge to world Jewry and allow the design and construction of the Southern Kotel Plaza to begin.

Note: I serve as National Chair of the Association of Reform Zionists of America (ARZA), the Zionist arm of the American Reform movement representing 1.5 million American Jews.

 

Mr. Trump – How can you say you love us if you don’t know or care what hurts us?

10 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Divrei Torah, Ethics, Social Justice, Women's Rights

≈ 2 Comments

Lutheran Pastor Martin Niemoeller was arrested by the Gestapo in 1938 and interned in Dachau until 1945. After the war he said:

“In Germany, the Nazis first came for the communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came up for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak for me.”

I agree with Deborah Lipstadt in her Forward piece (see below) that Donald Trump is probably not an anti-Semite but that he has internalized anti-Semitic attitudes, which are far worse. At the very least, he is grossly insensitive to our historic and religious experience and what animates Jewish fear. His recent posting of the 6-pointed Star (of David) over a pile of cash in criticizing Hillary Clinton reminds me of the Chassidic story about the Rebbe who asked his disciple one day if he loved him.

“Of course I love you!” The Chassid said.

“Do you know what hurts me?” the Rebbe asked.

“No – I do not.”

The Rebbe explained: “If you do not know what hurts me, how can you say you love me?”

One can legitimately argue that Mr. Trump didn’t initially realize that his use of the Star (of David) was hurtful and insulting to Jews. Almost immediately someone in his campaign removed the 6-pointed star and replaced it with a circle. That would have been fine in my book, his campaign borrowing images from a white supremacist website notwithstanding. But Mr. Trump didn’t allow the issue to subside. In Cincinnati before thousands of supporters and a national audience, he criticized his own campaign and his Jewish son-in-law saying that the star-image should never have been taken down in the first place because it isn’t the star of David.

Mr. Trump says he loves Jews. He says he loves women. He says he loves Hispanics. He says he loves Mexicans. He says he bear no animus towards Muslims.

Really!?

Mr. Trump is an equal opportunity offender of just about everyone.

In this last week’s Torah portion, Korach, our sages noted that Korach‘s great sin was that he divided the people against each other. That has marked Trump’s campaign from the beginning and we ought to judge him the way Judaism judges Korach, as a rabble rouser whose egotistical quest for power blinded him to the needs of everyone else. Is this what we need in a President?

There are so many decent Republicans in this country, thank goodness, who have quietly decided they cannot vote for this man for President. That being said, why have so many of them chosen to remain silent? Why has there not arisen a strong and vocal ground swell of protest coming from millions of decent Republicans?

Rabbi Joachim Prinz spoke to the thousands assembled on the Washington, D.C. Mall in August 1963 and said:

“When I was the rabbi of the Jewish community in Berlin under the Hitler regime, I learned many things. The most important thing I learned under those tragic circumstances was that bigotry and hatred are not the most urgent problem. The most urgent, the most disgraceful, the most shameful and the most tragic problem is silence.”

Dr. King offered essentially the same message:

“We will have to repent in this generation, not merely for the vitriolic words and actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence of the good people.”

Yes, I acknowledge that Hillary Clinton is an imperfect candidate for President, but her imperfections fade into the ether when compared to the depth and expanse of the moral failings of Donald Trump. Hillary Clinton has demonstrated over the course of her entire adult life a deep concern for and activism on behalf of the most vulnerable people in our society and world – women, children, the powerless. I see no such moral sensibility in Mr. Trump’s life or career.
See:

Trump’s vigorous defense of anti-Semitic image a ‘turning point’ for many Jews
By Jose A. DelReal and Julie Zauzmer, Washington Post, July 8, 2016

“Donald Trump’s vigorous defense of an image widely regarded as anti-Semitic has alarmed many Jewish Americans, who are growing increasingly fearful that someone who could be the next president is willing to stoke the kinds of stereotypical attacks that have haunted Jews around the world for generations.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trumps-vigorous-defense-of-anti-semitic-image-a-turning-point-for-many-jews/2016/07/08/720858e2-4450-11e6-bc99-7d269f8719b1_story.html

Is Donald Trump’s Inadvertent Anti-Semitism Worse Than the Real Thing?
By Deborah Lipstadt, Forward July 7, 2016

“Trump is like a drug dealer who sells the stuff and urges others to use it, while he never touches it himself. Because he is not an anti-Semite, he fails to grasp that he is engaging in traditional anti-Semitism.”

http://forward.com/opinion/344435/is-donald-trumps-inadvertent-anti-semitism-worse-than-the-real-thing/

Note: The viewpoint expressed in this blog represent my own only, and do not represent any religious institution or organization with which I am affiliated.

“Palestinian terrorism and Muslim hypocrisy: An open letter from a Muslim woman”

07 Thursday Jul 2016

Posted by in Ethics, Israel and Palestine, Jewish-Islamic Relations

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Following the murder of 13-year-old Hillel Yaffe Ariel in her Kiryat Arba home on June 30, the following blog was written by an American Muslim interfaith activist and  appeared in the Times of Israel. Nadiya Al-Noor’s words are a must read and, hopefully, can restore a measure of faith and hope shattered by this cruel and incomprehensible act of violence on a child.

Palestinian terrorism and Muslim hypocrisy: An open letter from a Muslim woman – July 1, 2016, 6:40 am – Times of Israel Blog

Blogger Nadiya Al-Noor is a young Muslim interfaith activist with a focus on Jewish and Muslim communities, and she actively supports peace between Israel and the Palestinians. Nadiya is a graduate student at Binghamton University in New York, studying Public Administration.

“I am a Muslim, and I know that when it comes to Palestinian terrorism, too many Muslims are hypocrites. I have seen firsthand the casual, destructive anti-Semitism that plagues the Muslim community. I have heard it from the mouths of our religious leaders, from our politicians, and even from our otherwise peaceful, liberal Muslim activists. I have witnessed in horror the desperate attempts to justify Palestinian terrorism from people who I once respected. Why? Why do we decry all other types of terrorism, but bend over backwards to legitimize violence against Israeli Jews?”

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/palestinian-terrorism-and-muslim-hypocrisy-an-open-letter-from-a-muslim-woman/

Elie Wiesel – Personal memories and a tribute

04 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Ethics, Jewish Identity, Social Justice, Stories, Tributes

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Elie Wiesel belonged to humanity. Though he was a Jew first, he transcended tribal and national boundaries and spoke on behalf of everyone who knows the despair that comes from cruelty and indifference.

I met Elie Wiesel twice. The first time was in 1972 at the Brandeis Camp Institute (now the Brandeis-Bardin Institute of the American Jewish University) while a senior at UC Berkeley. He and I spoke briefly then, but he wrote me a little hand-written note the following month that I cherish and that has motivated so much of what I do and believe as a rabbi. It reads simply “Remember to be a witness.”

I met him a second time in 1987 when I served as the Associate Rabbi at the Washington Hebrew Congregation in Washington, DC. My wife Barbara was serving then on the National Board of the Central American Refugee Center (CARECEN). Along with her on that board was Mary-Anne White, the wife of the former American Ambassador to El Salvador, Robert White (z’l – he died last year from complications of prostate cancer).

Ambassador White was the one who identified the four murdered American nuns. He was serving as well in El Salvador when Archbishop Romero was assassinated in his church.

Ambassador White, appointed by President Carter to stop a revolution in that tortured land, described Roberto D’Aubuisson, the leader of the death squads, as a “pathological killer.” When President Reagan took office, one of his first acts was to fire Ambassador White because of his public accusations against the Salvadoran regime that had tolerated and supported D’Aubuisson’s death squads. Unfortunately, this ended White’s diplomatic career, but he grew in the hearts and minds of the Salvadoran people because he spoke “truth to power” as Elie Wiesel did in the White House publicly to his friend President Reagan because the President was preparing to visit the graves of Nazis at Bitburg, Germany as a favor to the German leadership. He told President Reagan that his place was at the graves of the victims, not the murderers.

Together, Barbara and Mary-Anne White (who was then the President of the Girl Scouts of America) teamed up and brought Elie Wiesel to CARECEN’s cause. He became a significant supporter of their efforts.

As Elie Wiesel received the Nobel Peace Price he said – “No human being is illegal!” That quote became the tag-line of CARECEN in its efforts on behalf of El Salvadoran refugees seeking political asylum in the United States.

In light of the millions of refugees seeking safe shelter in the world today, Elie Wiesel was then, as always, prescient. His words, conscience and compassion as a witness has been lost tragically on millions of Americans spurred on by the hateful, hard-hearted and exclusionary rhetoric of one presidential candidate who would bar these tempest tossed human beings from ever coming into America and finding safe haven here.

May this Fourth of July celebrating American freedom remind us of the blessings of liberty and democracy that we enjoy, and of the conscience of this blessed man that graced and served humankind that is at the core of the American spirit.

Zecher tzadik livracha! May the memory of this righteous human being be a blessing for us all and for the generations to come. Amen!