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Category Archives: Health and Well-Being

DON’T EAT THE STORK!

01 Friday Apr 2016

Posted by rabbijohnrosove in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Divrei Torah, Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Jewish Identity, Musings about God/Faith/Religious life, Social Justice, Women's Rights

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Is it true that ‘we are what we eat?’

Judaism says “yes!” That’s why, many commentators say, our consumption of animals of prey is prohibited (see citations below).

This week’s Torah portion Sh’mini (Leviticus 9:1-11:47) lists many of these non-kosher animals as well as other dos and don’ts of kosher eating. Though tradition acquiesces to what a number of sages acknowledge is a fundamental human weakness (i.e. the craving for meat), many of our kosher laws seek to counteract and contain our unchecked tendency towards avarice, cruelty and violence, and instead encourage us to cultivate greater sensitivity, empathy and compassion for animals.

The category of rabbinic law that concerns the suffering of animals is called Tza-ar ba’alei chayim. Many halachot (rabbinic laws) oversee our treatment of and care for animals. The kosher ideal is not for us to be omnivores. Rather, vegetarianism is the greater goal based on the standard of the first humans in paradise (the Garden of Eden) who ate only what was grown there.

Of all the kosher prohibitions listed in the book of Leviticus, one bird, however, is forbidden to eat, and it’s a curiosity given its name and the notion that we are what we eat. We read:

“The following you shall abominate among the birds – they shall not be eaten….the eagle, vulture, black vulture; kit, falcons, raven, ostrich, nighthawk, sea gull; hawks of all kinds; little owl, cormorant, great owl; white owl, pelican, bustard; stork, herons of all kinds, hoopoe, and bat.” (Leviticus 11:13-19)

These are birds of prey and are forbidden for human consumption lest, our sages teach, we absorb the animal’s predatory nature. If so, what is it about this particular bird, called chasidah (the stork or “graceful swan”) that’s so heinous? Why is it included in this list along with eagles, vultures and other carnivorous flying creatures?

Rashi, citing Rabbi Judah, also asked: “…why is it called chasidah?” He answered: “Because it acts with kindness (chasidut) towards its friends, sharing its food with them.” (Bavli, Hullin 63a)

Since the swan/stork is compassionate by nature, why shouldn’t it be kasher (lit. “fit to be eaten by Jews”)? Perhaps, because though the white stork is good and generous to its friends, it isn’t generous to strangers.

The stork is a bird apart – beautiful, inspiring flights of imagination in ballet, poetry, and Disney animated features (remember the storks in Dumbo delivering babies to families?!), but such qualities can also be accompanied by arrogance and disregard for others. Though empathetic to its own, the stork lacks greater empathy and understanding for those different from itself.

Torah tradition seeks to nurture within the human heart empathy for those who are like us and not like us, friend and foe. It’s easy for most of us to relate with patience and kindness to our families, friends and communities. A far more difficult challenge is for us to be understanding and empathetic towards the stranger, those different from us, who don’t share our language, values, goals, and aspirations; those down on their luck, the poor, the single welfare mother and her children, the disabled, the unemployed and under-employed, the immigrant, people of color, LGBTQ, the uneducated, the fearful and angry, the Palestinian, the Syrian and Muslim refugee, and on and on and on.

The non-kosher classification of the swan/stork reminds us who we are not supposed to be, and that it’s our moral obligation to push ourselves beyond our comfort zones and transcend our worlds for the sake of the “other” who is very different from us.

Shabbat shalom.

See also: Genesis 9:3-4 and Leviticus 17:10-12 (prohibition against the consumption of blood), Exodus, 12:14-15 (leaven during Pesach), 23:19 (boiling the kid in the milk of its mother) , Deuteronomy 12:20-25 (permission to eat meat and prohibition against the consumption of blood), 14:3-20  and Deuteronomy 14:21 (land animals and water creatures), Leviticus 22:28 and Deuteronomy 22:6-7 (compassion towards the mother animal), Bavli Gittin 62a, Berachot 40a, Maimonides’ Guide for the Perplexed Part III, Chapter 48 and Sefer HaChinuch Law 148 (rationale for keeping kosher),

 

The Staggering Statistics of Gun Violence in America and What We Can Do About It

27 Wednesday Jan 2016

Posted by rabbijohnrosove in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Health and Well-Being

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This week two leaders of Women Against Gun Violence, Loren Lieb and Donna Finkelstein whose children were injured in the 1999 Los Angeles Jewish Community Center shooting, visited my synagogue’s senior staff to ask our synagogue community and schools to promote education and advocacy on behalf of gun safety.

Here are statistics showing the disastrous effects of gun violence on American lives (provided by the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence and Women Against Gun Violence):

Children (0-19 years)

• Every year on average – 17,499 American children and teens (0-19 years) are shot in murders, assaults, suicides & suicide attempts, unintentional shootings, or by police intervention – 2,677 kids die from gun violence – 14,822 kids survive gun injuries

• Every day on average – 48 children and teens are shot in murders, assaults, suicides & suicide attempts, unintentional shootings, and police intervention – 7 children and teens die from gun violence – 41 children and teens are shot and survive

All ages

• Every year on average – 108,476 people in America are shot in murders, assaults, suicides & suicide attempts, unintentional shootings, or by police intervention – 32,514 people die from gun violence – 75,962 people survive gun injuries

• Every day on average – 297 people in America are shot in murders, assaults, suicides & suicide attempts, unintentional shootings, and police intervention – 89 people die from gun violence – 208 people are shot and survive

Firearms are the 2nd leading cause of death for children and teens ages 1-19

A gun in the home is 22 times more likely to be used to kill or injure in a domestic homicide, suicide, or unintentional shooting than to be used in self-defense

Gun ownership in a country is a significant predictor of firearm homicide rates. For each percentage point increase in gun ownership, the firearm homicide rate increases by .9%.

There are 65 million more guns than adults in America.

Suicides account for 60% of gun deaths each year.

1 out of 3 homes with kids have guns and 1.7 million children live in a home with an unlocked, loaded gun

82% of firearm suicides among youth under 18 used a firearm belonging to a family member, usually a parent

76% of children ages 5-14 know where firearms are kept in the home

24% of students in grades 7-12 report having easy access to a gun in the home

29% of households with children younger than 12 fail to lock up their guns

33% of 8-12 year old boys who come across an unlocked handgun pick it up and pull the trigger

22% of children who live in a house with a gun handle a gun without their parents’ knowledge

50% of all unintentional shooting deaths among children occur at home – almost 50% occur in the home of a friend or relative

Millions of guns are sold every year in “no questions asked” transactions. 40% of guns now sold in America are done so without a Brady background check

The statistics of gun violence, killings and injuries are staggering. Is there anything we citizens can do to protect ourselves and our children better?

Here are suggestions offered by Women Against Gun Violence and the Brady Campaign Against Gun Violence:

1. The safest house is one without a gun – if you have a gun, lock it up, separate the weapon from ammunition, or get rid of it;

2. If you are a parent whose child has a play-date in a friend’s home, ask the child’s parent(s) before the play-date if there are guns in the home and if so, are they locked up? If not, do not allow your child to play at that house. Invite your child’s friend instead to play in your home;

3. Talk to your children about gun danger and gun safety. Tell them never to pick up a gun that they see lying around a house. Then they should tell an adult there is a gun. Then they should call you (their parents) and go home. Remind them frequently that guns can kill.

4. Talk to your teen-age children about attending parties where there may be unlocked guns. If they learn that there is an unlocked gun, they should follow the steps in item #3 above.

5. Invite Women Against Gun Violence to speak to parents and children in your child’s schools.

6. Display posters advocating gun safety in schools, synagogues and community buildings.

7. Fight the National Rifle Association (NRA) refusal to support reasonable gun safety legislation and don’t support any congressional, senate or presidential candidate who refuses to support the same.

On Gratitude

25 Wednesday Nov 2015

Posted by rabbijohnrosove in American Jewish Life, Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Inuyim - Prayer reflections and ruminations, Jewish Identity, Musings about God/Faith/Religious life, Poetry, Quote of the Day, Uncategorized

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Tennessee Williams put it exactly right: “You know we live in light and shadow. That’s what we live in – a world of light and shadow; and it’s confusing.” (Orpheus Descending)

No life is simple, but along comes Thanksgiving and tradition compels us to emphasize gratitude regardless of our circumstances, how we may feel and conditions in the world.

For some, gratitude comes easily. For others gratefulness is challenging. Nurturing gratitude, however, is one of our most effective means to dispel the “shadow” and lift us towards the “light.”

Here are a number of reflections from Jewish tradition and world literature that offer us perspective, insight, wisdom, and hope.

“Hodu l’Adonai ki tov, ki l’olam chasdo – Give thanks to God, for Adonai is good…God’s steadfast love is eternal.” –  Psalm 136 (9th century, B.C.E.)

“When you arise in the morning give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself.” – Native American Prayer, Tecumseh Tribe

“How strange we are in the world, and how presumptuous our doings! Only one response can maintain us: gratefulness for witnessing the wonder, for the gift of our unearned right to serve, to adore, and to fulfill. It is gratefulness which makes the soul great.” – Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel (1907-1972)

“Ingratitude to a human being is ingratitude to God.” – Rabbi Samuel Hanagid (993-1056 CE)

“What have you done for me lately is the ingrate’s question.” – Rabbi Joseph Telushkin

“If you cannot be grateful for what you have received, then be thankful for what you have been spared.” – Yiddish proverb

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” – William Arthur Ward, American scholar, author, pastor and teacher (1921-1997)

“Gratitude, not understanding, is the secret to joy and equanimity.” – Anne Lamott, writer (b. 1954)

“Thank everyone who calls out your faults, your anger, your impatience, your egotism; do this consciously, voluntarily.” – Jean Toomer, poet and novelist (1894-1967)

“We should write an elegy for every day that has slipped through our lives unnoticed and unappreciated. Better still, we should write a song of thanksgiving for all the days that remain.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach, author (b 1948)

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” – Cicero, Roman philosopher (106 BC – 43 BC)

“If the only prayer you say in your life is ‘Thank you,’ that would suffice.” – Meister Eckhart, German theologian, philosopher (1260-1328)

“When I started counting my blessings my whole life turned around.” – Willie Nelson

“The highest tribute to the dead is not grief, but gratitude.” – Thorton Wilder

“I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks.” – William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

Teshuvah – An Ultimate Spiritual Reality at the Core of Jewish Faith

09 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by rabbijohnrosove in Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Holidays, Jewish Identity, Musings about God/Faith/Religious life

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The midrashic tradition teaches that teshuvah (i.e. repentance, turning, returning) is an ultimate spiritual reality at the core of Jewish faith, and was one of the ten phenomena that God created before the creation of humankind thus giving us the capacity to extricate ourselves from the chain of cause and effect.

Teshuvah is a central theme of the High Holiday season – return or turning to one’s core spiritual essence, to family and dear ones with whom we have become alienated, to friends and community, to Torah, the Jewish people, and God.

The following are selections from classic Jewish texts and from some of our people’s most inspired and profound thinkers (ancient and modern) on the meaning, nature and impact of teshuvah on the individual, community, world, and God.

Teshuvah is a manifestation of the divine in each human being…Teshuvah means “turning about,” “turning to,” “response” – return to God, to Judaism, return to community, return to family, return to “self”…Teshuvah reaches beyond personal configurations – it is possible for someone to return who “was never there” – with no memories of a Jewish way of life…Judaism isn’t personal but a historical heritage…Teshuvah is a return to one’s own paradigm, to the prototype of the Jewish person…The act of teshuvah is a severance of the chain of cause and effect in which one wrong follows inevitably upon another…The thrust of teshuvah is to break through the ordinary limits of the self…The significance of the past can only be changed at a higher level of teshuvah – called Tikun – tikun hanefesh – tikun olam…The highest level of teshuvah is reached when the change and correction penetrate the very essence of the sins once committed and create the condition in which a person’s transgressions become his/her merits. – Gleaned from “Repentance” by Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz, 20th-21st century, Israel

For transgressions committed between an individual and the Omnipresent, the day of Atonement atones.  For transgressions between one individual and another, the Day of Atonement atones only if the one will regain the goodwill of his fellow. – Mishnah, Yoma 8:9, 2nd century CE, Palestine

Even if one only injured the other in words [and not in deed], he must pacify him and approach him until he forgives him. If his fellow does not wish to forgive him, the other person brings a line of three of his friends who [in turn] approach the offended person and request from him [that he grant forgiveness]. If he is not accepting fo them, he brings a second [cadre of friends] and then a third.  If he still does not wish [to grant forgiveness], one leaves him and goes his own way, and the person who would not forgive is himself the sinner. –  Maimonides, Mishnah Torah, Laws of Repentance, 2:9-10, 11th century CE, Spain and Egypt

The primary role of penitence, which at once sheds light on the darkened zone, is for the person to return to himself, to the root of his soul. Then he will at once return to God, to the Soul of all souls…. It is only through the great truth of returning to oneself that the person and the people, the world and all the words, the whole of existence, will return to their Creator, to be illumined by the light of life. – Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook, early 20th century, Palestine)

Humility is the root and beginning of repentance. – Bachya ibn Pakuda, 11th century, Spain

Know that you must judge everyone with an eye to their merits.  Even regarding those who are completely wicked, one must search and find some small way in which they are not wicked and with respect to this bit of goodness, judge them with an eye to their merits. In this way, one truly elevates their merit and thereby encourages them to do teshuvah. – Rabbi Nachman of Bratzlav, Likutei Moharan 282, 18th century, Ukraine

Rabbi Abbahu said, “In the place where penitents stand, even the wholly righteous cannot stand.” – Talmud Bavli, Berachot 34b, 3rd century, Palestine

L’shanah tovah u-m’tukah

A Good and sweet New Year!

Pesach is Coming – Time to Ask Ourselves the Big Questions

31 Tuesday Mar 2015

Posted by rabbijohnrosove in American Jewish Life, Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Holidays, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity

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To be curious is the first quality of the wise. Wise people know that they do not know and are open to learn something from everyone.

The Passover Seder will soon be upon us, and there is much about the Seder that is mysterious. Nothing is as it seems. Everything stands for something else. Deeper truths are there for the seeker. Everything in the Seder evokes questions.

I have compiled a list of questions that might be sent in advance to your Seder participants or asked around the table during the Seder itself. You may have questions of your own that you would wish to add.

Afikoman – Breaking the Matzah

Questions: What part of us is broken? What work do we need to do to effect tikun hanefesh – i.e. restoration of our lives? What t’shuvah – i.e. return, realignment of our lives, re-establishment of important relationships – do we need to perform to bring about inner wholeness and reconciliation with others? What is broken in the world – i.e. what remains unfair, unjust, unresolved, in need of our loving care and attention – and what am I/are we going to do about it?

Mah Nishtanah – How is this night different from all other nights?

Questions: How am I different this year from previous years? What has changed in my life this year for better and/or for worse? What ‘silver lining’ can I find even in my disappointments, frustrations, loss, illness, pain, and suffering? What conditions in our communities, nation and world have worsened since last we sat down for the Pesach meal?

Ha-Chacham – The Wise Child

Questions: Who inspired you this past year to learn? Who has been your greatest teacher and why? What are the lessons you have gleaned from others that have affected you most in the year gone by?

Ha-Rasha – The Evil Child

Questions: Since Judaism teaches that the first step leading to evil is taken when we separate ourselves from the Jewish community and refuse to participate in acts that help to redeem the world, have we individually stepped away from activism? Have we become overcome by cynicism and despair? Do we believe that people and society succumb inevitably to the worst qualities in the human condition, or do we retain hope that there can be a more just and compassionate world? Are we optimistic or pessimistic? Do we believe that people and society can change for the better? Are we doing something to further good works, or have we turned away into ourselves alone and given up?

Cheirut – Thoughts of Freedom

Questions: If fear is an impediment to freedom, what frightens me? What frightens the people I love? What frightens the Jewish people? Are our fears justified, or are they remnants of experiences in our individual and/or people’s past? Do they still apply? Are we tied to the horrors of our individual and communal traumas, or have we broken free from them? What are legitimate fears and how must we confront them?

Tzafun – The Hidden Matzah

Questions: What have we kept hidden in our lives from others? Are our deepest secrets left well-enough alone, or should we share them with the people closest to us? To what degree are we willing to be vulnerable? Have we discovered the hidden presence of God? Have we allowed ourselves to be surprised and open to wonder and awe? If so, how have we changed as a result?

Sh’fach et chamat’cha – Pouring Out Our Wrath

Questions: Is there a place for hatred, anger and resentment in our Seder this year? How have these negative emotions affected our relationships to each other, to the Jewish community, the Jewish people, the Palestinians, the State of Israel, to any “other”? Have we become our own worst enemy because we harbor hatred, anger and resentment? Do the Seder themes and symbolism address our deeply seated anger, hatred and resentment?

Ba-shanah Ha-ba-ah Bi-y’ru-shalayim – Next Year in Jerusalem

Questions: What are your hopes and dreams for yourself, our community, country, the Jewish people, the State of Israel, and the world? What are you prepared to do in the next year to make real your hopes and dreams? Have you visited Israel and when do you plan to visit again? Despite disagreements with the policies of the government of Israel, if you have them, how can you demonstrate love for the state and Jewish people in spite of legitimate criticisms you may have?

Rabbi Eric Yoffie, past president of the Union for Reform Judaism, and now a writer, lecturer and teacher, has written an important piece in Haaretz called “Three points to make when fighting over Israel at the Passover Seder – It will be impossible to bridge the gaps between the leftists and rightists, because both will be correct. So, I offer three things worth noting.”

See Haaretz at http://www.haaretz.com/opinion/.premium-1.649565?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter —

or go directly to his blog at https://ericyoffie.com/passover-seder/

Note: Rabbi Yoffie is always worth reading, especially in these times, as he presents a wise, moral, balanced, and pragmatic voice of contemporary Judaism.

Being There – Parashat Mishpatim

12 Thursday Feb 2015

Posted by rabbijohnrosove in American Jewish Life, Divrei Torah, Health and Well-Being, Jewish Identity, Musings about God/Faith/Religious life

≈ 3 Comments

More than twenty years ago I read a wonderful book the title of which I’ve never forgotten because it states such a profound and obvious truth – Where ever you go – There you are! The book was written by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, the creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.

The volume is both an instructional guide on how to meditate, how to sit, and how to breathe, how to calm the mind and live in the present, and it is about the physical, mental and emotional health benefits that meditators attain over time.

Dr. Kabat-Zinn wrote that we are who we are everywhere we go, that we reveal ourselves fully all the time whether we’re aware of doing so or not, in all of our relationships, at home and in the work place, in our most private moments and in the crowd.

I read the book when Barbara, our then-young sons and I spent a week one summer in a home loaned to us by friends on Malibu’s famed-Broad Beach.

Each morning I awoke early before everyone else, made a strong cup of coffee and walked out on the sand to a bluff to sit on a weathered wooden bench where I’d look at the ocean, smell the morning salt air, listen to the waves, and read.

The book inspired me to begin meditating, and I did so for a year fairly religiously, and though I haven’t continued in a rigorous way since, I still find that I can, even for just a few moments at a time, settle myself down as I learned to do so long ago and feel refreshed and more present.

I recalled those summer days this week as I studied Parashat Mishpatim and encountered one special verse:

“The Eternal One said to Moses, Go up to me to the mountain – and be there, and I will give you the stone tablets and the Torah and the commandment that I inscribed [that you may] teach them.” (Exodus 14:19)

“עלה אלי ההרה – go up to Me to the mountain, והויה שם and be there.”

A redundancy to be sure! God told Moses to go to the top of a mountain. Once there, where else would he be? And why was it necessary for God to say to him also “be there?”

I would imagine that God wanted Moses to pay special attention, to open his sensual and spiritual antennae as he received Torah that he may absorb it as fully as he was capable as the preeminent and most intimate of God’s prophets. God knew, of course, that Moses was human, that he, like all of us, was distractible.

The Kotzker Rebbe commented that sometimes we expend a great deal of effort to reach an exalted goal – a great job, success, wealth, fame, love, family, friends, community – but once we achieve that which we thought we wanted sometimes we no longer want or need it at all, that it’s wrong and destructive for us.

It may be that we’ve lost so much of ourselves in the climbing that we’re no longer in touch with who we really are, having become fragmented and lost along the way.

In moments such as these, what do we do? I believe we need to remember that no one achievement, no one person in our lives, and no one identity, and certainly not wealth or fame, is ever the totality of who we are as individuals.

The Kotzker taught that the goal of our lives cannot be merely to ascend and to reach for an exalted summit, but to “be there,” to be here now and nowhere else.

The Kotzker continued that since God can be everywhere there never was a need for Moses to have had to go up onto the mountain at all, that all Moses ever needed to do was to stop where he was and achieve an ascent in that very place. There he could have received the Torah.

So too is it for us.

May we be like children awakening in the morning, fresh, alive, vibrant, and filled with wonder at the fact of living itself, at the miracle of simply being here.

Shabbat shalom!

Source for the insights of the Kotzker Rebbe – cited in Larry Kushner’s and Kerry Olitzky’s “Sparks Beneath The Surface,” Jason Aaronson Inc,. New Jersey. 1993. page 91.

The Measure of Our Success – D’var Torah Vayigash

26 Friday Dec 2014

Posted by rabbijohnrosove in American Jewish Life, Beauty in Nature, Divrei Torah, Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Life Cycle, Quote of the Day

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As 2014 comes to a blessed close, our world continues to escalate in brutality, is more politically fragile, religiously challenged, and morally confused than ever before. In times such as these it is worthwhile to consider once again who we are and how we might measure our personal, societal and international well-being. In this I am reminded of Churchill’s words that a successful person will “be… able to go from one failure to the next without losing enthusiasm.”

This week’s Parashat Vayigash has something to teach us about the importance of our attitude. In these closing chapters of Genesis we come to the climax of the Joseph narratives. The crown prince meets his brothers after 20 years of exile and reveals himself. As they cower before him, he forgives them and makes peace. Then he settles his father Jacob in the land of Goshen.

Pharaoh meets Jacob and one old man asks another: “Jacob – How many are the years of your life?”

“The years of my sojourn on earth are one hundred and thirty. Few and hard have been the years of my life, nor do they come up to the life-spans of my fathers during their sojourns.” (Genesis 47:8-9)

This seems an odd response given Jacob’s manifold blessings. Recognizing Jacob as a kvetch, the Midrash (B’reishit Rabba 95) brings an incredulous God into the conversation:

“Jacob: ‘I saved you from Esau and Laban; I brought Dinah back to you, as well as Joseph, and you complain that your life has been short and evil?’ [If so] I’ll count the words of Pharaoh’s question to you and your response, add them together and shorten your life [by that number of years – 33] so you’ll not live as long as your father Isaac, who lived to 180.’ Jacob lived 147 years.”

What happened to Jacob that he should be so negative at this point in his life? After all, he had 4 wives, 13 children and many grandchildren. His son Joseph had become the second most powerful man in the world, and he himself had encountered God twice, in a dream and at a river, but Jacob could only complain!

Where was the gratitude? That this conversation with Pharaoh should come just after Jacob had been reunited with Joseph, his favorite son, is disheartening and disturbing.

Truth to tell, we all know people like this who see their lives through a negative prism – parents who fixate on their children’s weaknesses and failings; marriages that dissolve because one partner won’t let go of past slights; people who refuse to see the half-full glass and always negatively spin whatever happens to them; others who refuse to overcome disappointments and predict instead a negative future on the basis of past hardship repeating the familiar cynical refrain regardless of new opportunities that could be very different were they not so stuck in their approach and negative attitude to the world.

In his book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” Stephen Covey concludes that the most well-balanced, positive and proactive people, who live happily with others at work and home, are successful because they balance four dimensions of their natures: the physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional.

We may need to care more for our bodies, eat better food and less of it, drop excess weight, get sufficient rest, keep stress and negativity at bay, and exercise more.

Perhaps we have closed our hearts and souls to the experience of mystery, awe and wonder.

Maybe we are intellectually stagnant, our curiosity suppressed and our minds inactive.

Possibly, we’ve become jaded and numb to feeling, focused too much on ourselves without bothering to empathize with others.

The Midrash surmises that Jacob’s negativity and propensity to complain, despite his many blessings, shaved years from his life. Writing 1500 years ago, the rabbis anticipated what psychiatrists and scientists know today, that some illnesses and even some early deaths can be avoided if we take better care of ourselves in body, mind and soul, and paid more attention to those relationships of meaning and trust that we have with one another.

Robert Louis Stevenson described a successful life this way:

“A person is a success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has gained the respect of intelligent people and the love of children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his/her task; who leaves the world better than s/he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem or a rescued soul; who never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it; who looked for the best in others and gave the best s/he had.”

Wiser words have not been uttered.

Shabbat shalom and a happy, healthy, meaningful, balanced, loving, and peaceful New Year!

[Note: This is an edited d’var Torah that I posted here in December 2011 and in re-reading it, I realized that nothing substantially has changed in the world or in the lives of multitudes in that time – hence, its reprise.]

 

Kindnesses That Last Forever

08 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by rabbijohnrosove in American Jewish Life, Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Jewish History, Quote of the Day, Tributes

≈ 4 Comments

When I was in Central Europe last month with thirty of my congregants touring formerly great Jewish centers of life in Budapest, Prague and Berlin, the Holocaust was everywhere we went. Memories of the cruelty and brutality so oppressed members of our group that many of us reflected that, despite how worthwhile our tour was, we had never returned from travel feeling as demoralized, depressed and sad as we did from this trip.

Since our return I recalled an act of kindness once shown to me by one of my rabbinical school professors. It took place forty years ago, but his loving concern for me has never faded from my heart and memory. Juxtaposed to what we experienced in Central Europe, what he did for me is a stark contrast to what we witnessed in the cities of our recent travel.

One of my Talmud teachers at HUC-JIR in Los Angeles was Dr. Abraham Zygelboim (z’l). As a rabbinic student in my mid-20s, I had suffered a painful break-up with my then-girlfriend, and I was emotionally devastated. Between classes one day I needed to take a few minutes for myself, so I walked outside, sat against a wall and wept.

Out of nowhere Dr. Zygelboim approached me quietly and kissed my forehead without ever saying a word. His sweetness stays with me and will all the days of my life.

Dr. Zygelboim was a gentle man, a Polish Holocaust survivor whose brother, Szmul Zygelboim, was a political leader in the Jewish community of Warsaw before the Nazi occupation. Szmul managed to escape Poland and advocated on behalf of the persecuted Jews in Nazi-occupied Europe as powerfully as he could in the United States and Great Britain. Deeply frustrated that the allies were neglecting to stop the slaughter of the Jewish people, and as a public act of protest, Szmul set himself on fire in front of the Parliament in London on May 12, 1943.

Szmul’s brother, my teacher, never spoke to us, his students, of his experience in the Shoah or of his brother’s ultimate and courageous act of protest. But we knew of it.

Dr. Zygelboim knew Talmud, and I was lucky to learn with him. But frankly, I do not remember the specifics of any particular lesson he taught me forty years ago, though I remember the sections of Talmud we learned with him – but I do remember his kiss on my forehead.

We are, each of us, powerful beings, and we often underestimate our capacity to touch others. Indeed, how we treat others and the way we speak to them defines not only our relationships with them, but our nature and the measure of our character.

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel said towards the end of his life: “When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.”

It is, of course, not always easy to be kind – especially when confronted by obstinate, difficult and offensive individuals. The moralist and essayist Joseph Joubert offered this in such circumstances, “Kindness is loving people more than they deserve.”

Leo Buscaglia offers this certain truth: “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

Gratitude – Gratitude – Gratitude

26 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by rabbijohnrosove in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Jewish Identity, Quote of the Day

≈ 2 Comments

As so much in our country and world is torn and ugly (e.g. Middle East, Congo, Sudan, Ukraine, North Korea, Iran, American politics, fundamentalist religious and nationalist extremism, Ferguson, prejudice, suspicion, hatred, racism, anti-Semitism, mental illness, societal polarization, etc.), Thanksgiving comes to Americans this week and we ask ourselves – ‘For what are we grateful?’

At our synagogue’s Nursery School Thanksgiving celebration earlier this week, I asked two questions of our children, their parents and grandparents: “Do you wake up each morning feeling mostly ‘grumpy’ or mostly happy?” It’s much easier to be grateful if we are happy as opposed to being grumpy.

Two-thirds said they awake happy, refreshed and raring to go, and the other third said ‘grumpy,’ many (I suspect) with the caveat that it takes them a bit longer to wake up and get into the flow of the day – then, maybe, they feel happy – but maybe not!

I am one who awakens happy, especially after I’ve had my double espresso – my little ‘resurrection’ each morning. Though I awake happy most days, I’m not naive. I am particularly conscious of the world’s troubles, and in my role as a rabbi and pastor, every day people seek me out for counsel, comfort, support, and love. I do the best I can in response, and offer whatever support and comfort I am able. Many, of course, continue to suffer (some for good reason) and they are joined by many in our community and around the world who live in difficult circumstances. When feeling this way, it is  difficult to feel gratitude for anything.

Indeed, most of us are confronted with life-challenges large and small. My question of our Nursery School children, parents and grandparents revealed that, at least, in this group gratitude comes naturally to most even when we feel that we’ve been dealt a bad hand. Little children inspire that kind of joy, love and gratitude.

How we approach the world determines not just whether we are grateful for our many gifts, but also whether we exhibit the virtue of humility, and whether we are generous people or tight-fisted including what we give of ourselves and resources to others. In this way, the virtues of gratitude, humility and generosity are inter-related. If these virtues are highly developed, people are more likely to discover deeper meaning and happiness in their lives.

What follows are thoughts on the virtue of gratitude as drawn from Jewish tradition and world literature. You might consider sharing these quotations around the Thanksgiving table this year as you share with each other, as my family does annually, what we feel gratitude for in our lives.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

“How strange we are in the world, and how presumptuous our doings! Only one response can maintain us: gratefulness for witnessing the wonder, for the gift of our unearned right to serve, to adore, and to fulfill. It is gratefulness which makes the soul great.”
-Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, 20th century philosopher, theologian, activist

“I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks.”
-William Shakespeare

“If the only prayer you say in your life is ‘Thank you,’ that will suffice.”
-Meister Echkart, 13th century German theologian and philosopher

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
-William Arthur Ward, 20th century pastor and teacher

“Gratitude, not understanding, is the secret to joy and equanimity.”
-Anne Lamott, writer

“Ingratitude to a human being is ingratitude to God.”
-Rabbi Shmuel Hanagid, 10th century Spanish sage

“When you arise in the morning give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself.”
-Native American Prayer – Tecumseh Tribe

“I offer thanks to You, Sovereign Source and Sustainer of life, Who returns to me my soul each morning faithfully and with gracious love.”
-Morning Liturgy

“Thank everyone who calls out your faults, your anger, your impatience, your egotism; do this consciously, voluntarily.”
-Jean Toomer, 20th century American poet and novelist

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”
– Marcus Tillius Cicero, 1st Century BCE Roman Philosopher

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.”
-Melodie Beattie, contemporary author

“We don’t express gratitude in order to repay debts or balance ledgers but rather to strengthen relationships (learned from Sara Algoe)….feelings of gratitude make us want to praise the other person publicly, to bring him or her honor.”
-Jonathan Haidt, social psychologist and Professor of Ethical Leadership, NYU

“What have you done for me lately is the ingrate’s question.”
-Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, lecturer and author

“If you have done a big kindness for your neighbor, let it be in your eyes a small matter. If your friend did you a small favor, let it be in your eyes a big favor.”
-Avot d’Rabbi Nathan 41:11, 9th century CE, Babylonia

“A person must be grateful to a place [e.g. synagogue, school, college, hospital, etc.] where he derived some benefit.”
-B’reishit Rabbah 79:6, 5th Century CE, Palestine

“If you cannot be grateful for what you have received, then be thankful for what you have been spared.”
-Yiddish proverb

“The highest tribute to the dead is not grief, but gratitude.”
-Thorton Wilder, 20th century playwrite and novelist

Congressman Henry Waxman – An American Hero

09 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by rabbijohnrosove in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity, Social Justice

≈ 2 Comments

Few in the history of the United States Congress have so positively impacted the lives of millions of Americans and changed the way the US does business as has Congressman Henry Waxman, who leaves office January 2nd after serving in the House of Representatives for forty years.

Henry has served the district of my congregation for most of that time, and this past Shabbat evening hundreds in our community came to honor him and express our collective gratitude for his life-time of service not just to us here in Los Angeles, but to the nation as a whole.

Henry is a strong and principled man. His Jewish values have guided him from his earliest years growing up in Boyle Heights, and he believes that good government can overcome any entrenched power that eclipses the public’s interest and bring important benefits to people all over the country.

One must wonder, however, in light of the current dysfunction of our federal government, how he has been able to be so remarkably prolific as a legislator. I believe he has succeeded for many reasons. Henry is legally and politically skillful, keenly intelligent, moral, savvy, patient, persistent, perseverent, and blessed with a quick wit and disarming sense of humor.

When Henry entered the California legislature as a young man, and then Congress in the post-Watergate years (1974), he also took seriously the challenge of mastering the legislative process. He became an expert in the health care system and the science of the environment, as well as a thoughtful advocate of the American-Israel strategic relationship. Henry also mastered the budgetary process and devoted himself as both a majority leader and then minority leader to government oversight. He reached out across the aisle and successfully included Republican co-sponsors in all legislation he authored (one of the secrets to his legislative success), except one, the Affordable Care Act, which frustrated him because so many of the ideas incorporated in the bill had been suggested by Republicans.

Five years ago Henry gave me a copy of his memoir The Waxman Report, (still available from his local office) a title drawn from his family’s early east Los Angeles newspaper called “The Waxman Reporter.” His book is a chronicle of the challenges, successes and failures that he faced in his 40-year congressional career and in the California legislature, and is a veritable guide in how to be effective as elected public servants.

Most members of Congress would be thrilled to claim success in shepherding one or two bills into law. Henry’s record of accomplishment is one of the most expansive and distinguished in the history of the House of Representatives. Here is a partial list of what he has succeeded in bringing into law:

• He challenged Big Tobacco, forced a showdown with the CEOs of all the major tobacco companies, shined a light on the threats to the health and well-being of millions of Americans by emphasizing the addictive character of nicotine and its many health risks, the tobacco companies’ deliberate marketing of cigarettes to children, their manipulation of the nicotine level in their products, the number of consequent deaths, and the drain on the America’s health care system;
• He passed bills to ban smoking in restaurants and on domestic airplanes;
• He passed the Clean Air Act limiting toxic air emissions thereby protecting the ozone layer of the atmosphere, limiting the release of cancer-causing toxic emissions and other hazardous air pollutants thus saving tens of thousands of lives;
• He expanded Medicaid coverage for the poor and elderly;
• He funded the first government-sponsored HIV/AIDS research;
• He passed bills lowering drug prices through generic alternatives thus saving the American taxpayer trillions of dollars;
• He fostered the development of hundreds of new drugs to treat rare diseases (Orphan Drug Act);
• He got nutritional labels placed on food packaging (Nutrition Labeling and Education Act; Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act);
• He passed laws to keep food free of pesticides (Food Quality Protection Act);
• He cleaned up the nation’s water supplies (Safe Drinking Water Act);
• He held hearings on steroid use in Major League Baseball resulting in the Clean Sports Act;
• He established federal standards for nursing homes to protect the elderly from abuse and neglect;
• He sought to stop taxpayer waste, fraud and abuse in areas from Wall Street to Hurricane Katrina clean-up, and to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Henry Waxman has been as effective as any legislator in the last century of the American Congress. He succeeded because he and his staff were always prepared, always smarter and more skillful than his opposition and the most powerful special interests. No one ever intimidated him.

All the while, Henry attended to his district. Recently, a woman told me that she had approached Henry after her husband got sick as a consequence of his army service in the first Gulf War. He had lost his health insurance, the family had gone bankrupt and was on the verge of losing their home. He eventually died, but Henry saved this woman’s home from dispossession.

His support for the security of the state of Israel and for the liberation of Soviet and Syrian Jewry, distinguishes Henry as well in late 20th century Jewish history.

Henry is blessed with an extraordinary wife and life-partner, Janet, who is as smart, sophisticated, insightful, astute, refined, and decent as he. Her support, counsel and partnership with Henry have not only served him well, but also our nation. Together, they have a wonderful family and are deeply committed and educated Jews.

My wife Barbara and I consider Henry and Janet Waxman as dear friends. As they begin a new stage of their lives together, I wish them good health, joy with their children and grandchildren (note: Henry is the only sitting member of Congress who has three sabra grandchildren), and their many friends.

Despite Henry’s retirement from Congress, something tells me that America has not heard the last of Henry Waxman. He has still much to contribute to the nation, and I suspect he will do so with his characteristic intelligence, passion and skill.

May Henry Waxman’s legacy of service to our nation be the standard against which all current and future members of Congress be evaluated.

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