Category Archives: American Jewish Life

David Suissa Wrong on the Facts About J Street

20 Tuesday May 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, Ethics, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity

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In last week’s edition of the Los Angeles Jewish Journal, David Suissa wrote a scathing attack against J Street that was not only filled with factual errors, but was an unwarranted attack on the values that J Street represents that are held by the majority of American Jews according to all polls, but also accusing 800 rabbis and cantors, 185,000 supporters and thousands of University and College students of a lack of humility when it comes to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

I write today sadly as a friend. At my invitation David publicly debated J Street’s President and Founder Jeremy Ben Ami at my synagogue, Temple Israel of Hollywood. After they met, Jeremy invited David to speak at the J Street National Convention in Washington, D.C. It is curious, therefore, how David could be so wrong factually about J Street and so ill-informed about J Street’s actual positions on a broad base of policy decisions J Street has made and published for all to see. That he would not check the facts before writing this attack column was disappointing, to say the least.

It is not a secret that David disagrees with J Street’s approach to pro-Israel activism among American Jews in the United States. He has that right. We are not the sole possessors of the truth. No one is. Truth to tell, in the past, David has often raised important challenges for American Jews when thinking about Israel. However, his own passion and support for Israel should not be license to misrepresent J Street’s positions and pass his misrepresentations off as the truth, as he does in his column – http://www.jewishjournal.com/david_suissa/article/j_streets_real_failure

The following is a letter to the Editor of The Jewish Journal that I co-signed with four other rabbis in the Southern California who believe in the mission of J Street as a legitimate and authentic Jewish voice in support of Israel and in the the need for a two-states for two peoples resolution of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Dear Editor:

David Suissa’s article “J Street’s Real Failure” was full of factual errors and falsehoods, and he was also wrong in his overall argument.

As Mr. Suissa should know because he spoke at the J Street National Conference, J Street opposes BDS and has helped defeat BDS resolutions on college campuses and within church groups. We believe, however, that the way to defeat BDS is not to ban its supporters from conversation, rather to debate them.

In addition, J Street did not endorse the Goldstone Report and has consistently criticized one-sided and biased activity at the UN against Israel. If the UN Security Council had considered action based on the Goldstone Report, J Street stated clearly and publicly that it would have urged the US to veto such action.

Furthermore, following the Fatah-Hamas reconciliation announcement, J Street stated that any Palestinian government must abide by its international commitments, including recognition of Israel and a renunciation of violence, in order to play a constructive role in working toward a two-state solution.

As members of J Street’s Rabbinic Cabinet, we believe there is nothing “boring” (per Mr. Suissa) about advocating for peace and a just end to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. The fact remains that Israel’s future as a secure, Jewish and democratic homeland depends on a two-state solution. We recognize, as well, that the Palestinians and Israelis together must find the means to a just and end-of-conflict solution.

J Street does not, and indeed cannot put pressure on Israel to do anything. However, as American Jews who love Israel we can urge our government to exercise leadership to advance a peace agreement.

We do not apologize for devoting ourselves to these ideals on which the future of our people and the State of Israel depend.

Rabbi Lisa Edwards, J Street LA Rabbinic Cabinet Co-Chair
Rabbi Joshua Levine Grater, J Street LA Rabbinic Cabinet Co-Chair
Rabbi Susan Laemmle, J Street LA Rabbinic Cabinet Co-Chair
Rabbi John Rosove, J Street National Rabbinic Co-Chair

 

Setting the Record Straight about J Street – Jeremy Ben Ami

14 Wednesday May 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Ethics, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity

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As a follow-up to my blog yesterday entitled “The Truth About J Street,” I include a longer letter written by J Street’s President Jeremy Ben Ami in “Times of Israel” yesterday called “Setting the Record Straight about J Street” in which he responds to many of the false charges against J Street’s positions.

Setting the record straight, Times of Israel – J Street President Jeremy Ben-Ami hit back at smears against J Street. http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/setting-the-record-straight-2/

I refer you as well to the J Street website and particularly to its section “Myths and Facts” – http://jstreet.org/page/mythsandfacts/home

Between these two pieces, one should have all the information necessary to make a reasonable and fair judgment about both the truth of the negative campaign against J Street by right-wing Jewish and Israeli groups, as well as the true positions of J Street on all the issues that we in J Street understand to be important for the security, Jewish character and well-being of the democratic state of Israel.

 

 

The Truth About J Street

12 Monday May 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Ethics, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity

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At a recently convened Los Angeles J Street meeting with one of the leading candidates running for Congressman Henry Waxman’s 33rd Congressional District seat, the candidate asked us “Why does J Street support BDS (Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions) against Israel?” He was repeating a charge he had heard from leadership in the Jewish community.

We explained that this charge was wholly untrue and was being spread in order to discredit J Street’s pro-Israel bona fides and to limit debate within the American Jewish community about Israel’s settlement policies and the need for a two-states for two peoples resolution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

The candidate was interested to know, as well, what the difference in approach is between J Street and AIPAC, the two leading pro-Israel lobbying organizations in the nation’s capital. He said he heard that J Street saw itself as the “anti-AIPAC lobby.”

We explained that J Street has never characterized itself as “anti-AIPAC.” That characterization comes from the media that seeks a simplified message in an essentially complex and nuanced Middle East policy debate. To the contrary, we at J Street respect AIPAC’s historically critical role in advocating for Israel’s security interests and have said so publicly.

We told him that J Street was created six years ago to address a significant void in Israel advocacy in Washington, D.C. Whereas AIPAC historically has advocated for whatever the current Israeli government’s policy positions have been, J Street advocates that the American administration do everything possible to bring the Israelis and Palestinians to the negotiating table and reach an agreement on a two-states for two peoples resolution of their conflict. J Street recognizes that the status quo is unsustainable, and that only by means of a two-state solution will Israel maintain its security, democracy and Jewish character. Consequently, J Street is at times openly critical of specific policy decisions taken by Israel’s government, arguably among the most right-wing governments in the history of the state of Israel.

We told the candidate as well that J Street’s positions and policy statements resonate with 70% of the American Jewish community and have inspired hundreds of thousands of pro-Israel American Jews and Jewish college students to get involved for the first time in Israel advocacy work. Hardly outside the mainstream of both American and Israeli opinion, J Street’s positions reflect those of Israeli middle-left political parties including Yesh Atid, Kadima, Avodah, and Meretz.

For the truth about J Street, we recommended that the candidate visit the J Street website and read its policy positions (www.jstreet.org) and in particular, to visit the “Myths and Facts” page where all the charges and criticisms of J Street are addressed fully. http://jstreet.org/page/mythsandfacts/home#policies .

The following includes organizational statements in support of J Street and in opposition to the Conference of Presidents’ vote issued after the vote. https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?shva=1#inbox/145f15de01a4bfb1?projector=1

Here are eleven excellent and thoughtful news reports and opinion pieces published in the United States and Israel on the role of J Street in the American Jewish community and the vote of the Conference on Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations:

Who Speaks for Pro-Israel Americans? – NY Times, by Carol Giacomo, April 28, 2014 – http://takingnote.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/04/28/who-speaks-for-pro-israel-americans/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=1&

Jewish Organization Acts in an Un-Jewish Fashion, Time Magazine, by Joe Klein, May 2, 2014 –  http://time.com/85684/jewish-organization-acts-in-an-un-jewish-fashion/

American Jewry Is Doomed If It Can’t Embrace J Street, New Republic, by Yochai Benkler, May 2, 2014 – http://www.newrepublic.com/article/117628/j-streets-rejection-reveals-israels-dangerous-path

J Street’s Rejection Is a Scandal, New Republic, by Leon Weiseltier, May 7, 2014 – http://www.newrepublic.com/article/117680/presidents-conference-j-street-rejection-disgrace

Jewish Americans ask: What does it mean to be ‘pro-Israel’? – Religion News, by Lauren Markoe, May 7, 2013 – http://www.religionnews.com/2014/05/07/jewish-americans-ask-mean-pro-israel/

Pull Back the Curtain – and Let J Street In – Editorial, The Forward, April 29, 2014 – http://forward.com/articles/197284/pull-back-the-curtain-and-let-j-street-in/

Those Who Reject J Street Are Blind – ‘They Still Don’t Hear Us,’ Says the Next Generation, The Forward, by Leonard Fein, May 3, 2014 – http://forward.com/articles/197545/those-who-reject-j-street-are-blind/

Blackballing J Street: Who Voted How, The Forward, by J.J. Goldberg, May 4, 2014 – http://blogs.forward.com/jj-goldberg/197563/blackballing-j-street-who-voted-how/

J Street is part of the American Jewish family, Haaretz, by Rabbi Eric H. Yoffie, April 28, 2014 – http://www.haaretz.com/opinion/.premium-1.587822

J Street’s rejection is a milestone in the growing polarization of American Jews, Haaretz, by Chemi Shalev, May 1, 2014 – http://www.haaretz.com/blogs/west-of-eden/.premium-1.588326

When Jews hate leftists for loving Israel – Haaretz, by Bradley Burston, May 7, 2014 – http://www.haaretz.com/blogs/a-special-place-in-hell/.premium-1.589381

On Humility and Kindness

11 Sunday May 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, Ethics, Poetry, Tributes

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In the next several weeks I will have the privilege of praising publicly two dear friends and colleagues on the occasion of significant milestones in their lives and the lives of their synagogue communities.

The first is Rabbi Ammi Hirsch, the Senior Rabbi of the Stephen S. Wise Free Synagogue in Manhattan, on his tenth anniversary as that community’s spiritual leader.

Ammi is brilliant, eloquent, thoughtful, visionary, and dynamic, and is among our nation’s finest congregational rabbis. His greatest virtues, despite all these undeniable strengths, are his modesty, humility and kindness.

Ammi did not wish to be honored on this occasion, though he is without question well-deserving, but allowed his community to do so on the condition that the synagogue raise substantial funds to expand their synagogue’s youth programming. His intent is to engage and inspire the youngest generation of Jews to become our future Jewish leaders imbued with serious Jewish learning, strong ethical impulses, and a proud identification with the people and state of Israel.

The other is Emeritus Rabbi Martin Weiner, who is being honored by his congregation, Sherith Israel of San Francisco, on the 50th anniversary of his ordination.

I spent the first seven years of my rabbinate as Marty’s assistant. He is a rabbi’s rabbi, a wonderful teacher who models integrity, wisdom, humility, kindness, and a commitment to people. Marty has inspired many young women and men, including his own son Daniel, to become rabbis themselves. Always gentle and wise, Marty is beloved by so many because he gives of himself so selflessly.

As I reflect upon the virtues that distinguish both Ammi and Marty, humility, modesty and simple human kindness immediately come to mind.

As servant-leaders, they are worthy recipients of the gratitude and praise of their communities.

The following are reflections first on humility and then on kindness because the latter naturally springs from the former:

Know before Whom you stand. -Talmud, Berachot 28b

Humility is a river fed by two streams – a sense of limitation and a sense of awe. -Rabbi Norman Hirsch

Teach your tongue to say ‘I don’t know.’ – Talmud, B’rachot 4a

The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos. -Stephen J Gould, paleontologist

For all our conceits about being the center of the universe, we live in a routine planet of a humdrum star stuck away in an obscure corner…on an unexceptional galaxy which is one of about 100 billion galaxies…That is the fundamental fact of the universe we inhabit, and it is very good for us to understand that. -Carl Sagan, astronomer, astrophysicist, cosmologist, author

Why was the human being created on the last day? So that if such a person is overcome by pride it might be said: ‘In the creation of the world, the mosquito came before you.’ -B’reishit Rabba

When a person comes into the world his hands are closed as if to say, ‘The whole world is mine, I want to possess it.’ When he leaves the world his hands are spread wide as if to say, ‘I possessed nothing of what is in the present world.’ -Kohelet Rabba

When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people. -Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel

A thoughtful act or a kind word may pass in a moment, but the warmth and care behind it stay in the heart forever. – Marjolein Bastin, artist

The best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love. -William Wordsworth, poet

Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.-Dr. Theodore Isaac Rubin, writer

Kindness is loving people more than they deserve. -Joseph Jourbert, moralist and essayist

Show me the man [woman] you honor, and I will know what kind of man [woman] you are. -Thomas Carlyle, Scottish philosopher

 

Israel at 66

04 Sunday May 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, Ethics, Holidays, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity, Uncategorized

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Israel and the Palestinians are in what US Secretary of State John Kerry calls a “pause,” and it is anyone’s guess what the future holds. At the moment polls suggest that most Israelis and Palestinians are pessimistic that a two-states for two peoples agreement will come any time soon. Yet, history is witness to formerly bitter enemies making peace and even becoming allies (e.g. Germany and Japan with the United States; Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland with each other), so anything is possible.

I believe that eventually (hopefully, sooner rather than later) there will be a resolution to this historic conflict in two states for two peoples because the alternative is too awful for either side to bear.

This week Israelis honor the memories of their fallen soldiers on Yom HaZikaron. The next day the Jewish people celebrates Yom Ha-Atzmaoot, the sixty-sixth year of Israel’s independence.

This is a week to reflect and marvel at what the Jewish people has accomplished in our national home. Indeed, who could have imagined sixty-six years ago that Israel would become as economically viable, politically and militarily strong, technologically advanced, and creatively cutting-edge as it has?

Who would have dreamed that Israel’s Jewish population of six hundred thousand souls in 1948 would grow to have more than six million Jews along with one and a half million Israeli Arabs in 2014?

Who would have thought that after having had to fight seven wars, endure two Intifadas and bear-up against ongoing terrorist threats that the state of Israel would remain democratic, free and willing to help the people of other nations with humanitarian support whenever a crisis occurs, even the people of Syria, a nation at war with Israel, by setting up field hospitals in the Golan Heights to care for Syrian refugees fleeing their devastating civil war who are in dire need of medical attention?

Even with her imperfections, and even with a lack of resolution of the conflict with the Palestinians, we cannot forget that Israel is a singularly remarkable nation, testimony to the spirit, will, ingenuity, aspiration, creativity, humanity, and sacrifice of generations of its citizens.

Truth to tell, Israel is like no other nation in the world. It is more culturally, linguistically and religiously diverse, more intellectually and academically productive, and more dynamically Jewish than at any time in 3600 years of our people’s long history.

On the occasion of Israel’s sixty-sixth Independence Day, it is incumbent upon Jews the world-over to seize this opportunity to celebrate our nation-state’s accomplishments, mourn and honor her dead, and affirm the unique place Israel holds in the heart, mind and soul of the Jewish people.

This is no easy task, for Israel is more than the refuge envisioned by political Zionists, and it is more than the flowering of the Jewish spirit as contemplated by cultural Zionists.

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote:

“Israel reborn is an answer to the Lord of history who demands hope as well as action, who expects tenacity as well as imagination…The inspiration that goes out of Zion today is the repudiation of despair and the example of renewal.” (Israel – An Echo of Eternity, p. 118, 134)

Zionism sought to inspire the fashioning of a new kind of a Jew, at home in the land, self-activated and self-realized, independent, creative and free. Israel’s founders understood, however, that there are inherent limitations in their state-building endeavor.

“The State of Israel is not the fulfillment of the Messianic promise,” Heschel reminds us, “but it makes the Messianic promise plausible.” (Ibid. p. 223)

In other words, the political state is not and cannot be regarded as an end in itself. Rather, Israel represents a challenge and a promise that will rise or fall based on how our people and her government use the power that comes with national sovereignty.

On this sixty-sixth anniversary of her founding, I pray that Jews everywhere celebrate Yom Ha-Atzmaoot with enthusiasm, gratitude and pride with the words of the Psalmist on our lips:

“Zeh hayom asah Adonai nagilah v’nism’cha bo – This is the day God has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!” (Psalm 118:24)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Money Given to Charity by Donald Sterling Can Be Accepted with Conditions

30 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Ethics, Social Justice, Women's Rights

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The sullied moral character of Donald Sterling is clear to anyone with eyes and a conscience.

In the days since his now infamous tapes were leaked we have learned that Sterling has been charitable to Jewish organizations and other groups, such as the NAACP. Why he has given money away, who knows? (PR? Tax deductions? Moments of generosity that remind him of what his mother may have once wished for him?)

In recent days leaders of the Los Angeles Jewish community have sought to distance themselves and their organizations from Sterling’s past gifts and have pledged not to accept anything more from him going forward.

Not so fast!

What does Jewish tradition say about receiving financial gifts from someone of Sterling’s character?

There is much discussion in Halachic literature (Jewish legal literature) concerning the bringing of donations to the synagogue. The Hebrew Bible rules that a sacred object cannot be brought to the Temple in Jerusalem that has immoral origins (Deuteronomy 23:19). Later commentaries come to a consensus that a donation from an individual who acquired the object through immoral or criminal means can be given to the Jewish community.

The 17th century Polish Commentator Rabbi Abraham Abele Gombiner (known as Magen Avraham) refers to a comment of Rabbi Moses Isserles (Shulchan Aruch, Orah Hayyim 153:12) and notes that if the object is first converted into money, and then that money is exchanged for other money, the second set of cash can be given to the synagogue.

Rabbi Solomon Freehoff in his Responsum “Synagogue Contribution from a Criminal” (Contemporary Reform Responsa, CCAR Press, 1969, pp. 52-55) concludes:

“In my judgment you should accept the gift, because it is his [the sinner’s] obligation (a mitzvah) to support the synagogue and we have no right to prevent a sinner from performing a righteous act.”

Tradition, however, conditions the giving of such a gift to its anonymity. No plaque or public mention may be noted about the origin of the gift in order to prevent the donor from enjoying the honor (kavod) of giving the gift. Rabbi Freehoff, however, says that if the sinner/criminal wishes to honor his/her parents, then acknowledgment of his parents may be publicized.

A related matter concerning the public role of a sinner is raised in a Responsum cited in The Holocaust and Halakhah (by Irving J Rosenbaum, Ktav, 1976, p. 154). In this case a particularly brutal and despised Kapo (Jewish policeman) in the Kovno ghetto claimed after the Shoah to have suffered great remorse for the evil he perpetrated on the Jews in the ghetto, and to have sincerely repented from his crimes. He approached the leadership of the Jewish community and requested to act as shaliach tzibur (prayer leader) in the synagogue.

Though acknowledging the great power of repentance, Rabbi Efraim Oshry (a survivor himself) ruled that

“A She’liah tzibur must be fitting; ‘fitting’ means that he must be free from sin and not have had an evil reputation even in his youth.”

This Kapo’s evil reputation, regardless of the t’shuvah he may have undergone that wiped clean his sin, permanently kept him from assuming any public leadership role in the Jewish community.

From these two Responsa, we can draw the following conclusions:

First, Donald Sterling ought to be excluded from any public leadership role in the community (as the NBA has properly done) regardless of whether he ever does t’shuvah in the way, for example, that the former racist Alabama Governor and presidential candidate George Wallace did before his death (Wallace publicly repented of his racism and apologized personally to Reverend Jesse Jackson, representing the African American community), Sterling’s current bad reputation would continue to exclude him.

Second, should Sterling wish to donate money to Jewish causes or other non-profit charitable organizations anonymously, his money need not be rejected. Not only could his donation serve greater community interests, but one day they may be part of the means by which he does sincere t’shuvah.

In this regard, I hope he gives generously and anonymously to all kinds of good causes. While doing so, he ought also to sincerely apologize to and makes amends with all the apartment dwellers he has victimized, to the African American community, to Latinos and peoples of color he has insulted, to women he has exploited, to the Jewish community who by association he has demeaned, and, of course, to the Los Angeles Clippers organization and the NBA.

I wish him courage, the strength and decency to do so.

Gratitude to Reform Movement Institutions That Support J Street’s Inclusion in The President’s Conference

29 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Ethics, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity, Social Justice

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As a co-chair of the J Street Rabbinic Cabinet (representing 800 rabbis from across the religious streams and hundreds of American Reform rabbis), as member of the Central Conference of American Rabbis (CCAR – the Reform Rabbinical association) for the past 34 years, as congregational Rabbi serving a Union for Reform Judaism (URJ) synagogue (part of a total of 1.4 million American Reform Jews), I am proud of the  CCAR, the URJ, the Association of Reform Zionists of America (ARZA), and the Women of Reform Judaism (WRJ) for their support of including J Street as a member of the Presidents Conference of Major American Jewish Organizations to take place this week.

The vote by any of these Reform organizations in favor does NOT mean that each of these groups endorses the viewpoint of J Street. It does signify, however, that our Reform movement organizations understand the importance of being as inclusive as possible of diverse points of view in the American Jewish community vis a vis Israel and American Jewish life.

J Street has earned clear bona fides as a pro-Israel American Zionist organization supporting two-states for two peoples in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and is committed to the two-state solution despite the discontinued negotiations.

I want to thank most especially my friend and colleague, Rabbi Rick Jacobs, the President of the Union for Reform Judaism, who led the way early on in advocating for inclusion of J Street in the Presidents Conference.

The immediate past-President of the URJ, Rabbi Eric Yoffie, has written a compelling rationale for J Street being included in his Haaretz op-ed “J Street is Part of the American Jewish Family.” (http://www.haaretz.com/opinion/.premium-1.587822)

I can only hope that other Presidents of Major Organizations will read Rabbi Yoffie’s piece and vote for inclusion whether or not they agree with J Street’s positions.

J Street Calls on Secretary Kerry to Make Public US Positions on Core Issues for Israeli-Palestinian Peace

24 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History

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As a co-chair of the National Rabbinic Cabinet of J Street that includes close to 800 American Rabbis from across the religious streams, I fully support the call by J Street (see below) to support Secretary Kerry’s peace mission and for the United States to take the next step by putting forth specific principles on which Israel and the Palestinians will negotiate.

The only way forward to insure the health, security and sustainability of the state of Israel as the homeland of the Jewish people and a vital democracy is in a two-state solution.

The time is now to continue what Secretary Kerry began with Israel’s leaders and the leaders of the Palestinian Authority.

Achieving an agreement will take substantial courage, will, vision, leadership, and statesmanship for both Israeli and Palestinian leaders, and they will need to resist those extreme elements in their respective societies who oppose peace and compromise.

Here is J Street’s statement:

J Street, the pro-Israel, pro-peace advocacy organization, commends Secretary of State John Kerry for his tireless efforts to achieve a comprehensive peace agreement between Israel and the Palestinians.

With those efforts at a critical juncture, J Street urges the Administration to remain steadfast in its active leadership of the effort to reach a two-state resolution to the conflict.

As the Administration weighs its next steps, J Street calls on the Secretary to put forward publicly an American framework for a two-state solution, which we believe should reflect the principles outlined below, and to ask both parties to continue talks on that basis.

We believe that fairly and impartially stating the US view on resolving the core issues of the conflict could be an important step to keep the prospects of reaching an agreement alive.

We know from polling that the majority of both Israelis and Palestinians would support an agreement based on the principles outlined below. International support could be rallied behind such a statement of principles, and it would have the support of a majority of Americans and American Jews in particular.

Taking such a step might also encourage the politicians on both sides not to allow yet another historic opportunity to slip away.

President Obama himself declared in his speech in Jerusalem in 2013 that political leaders only take risks when pushed by their people to do so. And Secretary Kerry has called on Israelis, Palestinians and Americans to join a “great constituency for peace.”

Now is the time to inspire public support for this effort by putting forth a set of actual principles and specific requirements.

J Street recommends that an American statement of principles be based on the following elements:

  1. Borders based on pre-1967 lines with limited, agreed-upon land swaps of equivalent size and quality.
  2. Robust security provisions and guarantees from the parties, as well as international partners including the United States.
  3. Compensation to Israeli settlers who relocate to within the future border of Israel to make peace possible.
  4. Options for Palestinian refugees including settlement in the future state of Palestine or third countries, compensation and a symbolic level of family reunification in Israel itself.
  5. Jewish neighborhoods of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and Palestinian neighborhoods as the capital of the future state of Palestine. Holy sites would be protected under international law and accessible to all.
  6. Recognition of the right of the Jewish people to statehood and the recognition of the right of the Palestinian people to statehood, without prejudice to the equal rights of the parties’ respective citizens.

http://jstreet.org/blog/post/j-street-calls-on-secretary-kerry-to-make-public-us-positions-on-core-issues-for-israelipalestinian-peace_1

 

Until Death Do Us Part – How Couples Successfully Sustain Their Marriages Over Time

23 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Life Cycle, Tributes

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For the past twenty-five years on the Shabbat evening in Pesach my congregation has celebrated the Biblical Song of Songs as well as “milestone” wedding anniversaries of members of our community.

I have offered hundreds of blessings – once to a couple married for 70 years, twice to couples married for 65 years each and three times for 60 years. Many have celebrated 55 and 50 years continuing in descending integrals of 5 years each that we arbitrarily designate as “milestone anniversaries.” It is a joyous Shabbat including children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

Given the 50% divorce rate among American Jews (now equal to the general American population) I ask each couple as they come forward for a blessing:

“How have you done it? What has sustained you for so long?”

Responses vary; some are hysterically funny and others wise from experience:

“She talks; I listen.”

“I agree with everything he says… especially when I don’t!”

“I let him think that every major decision went her way!”

“We laugh a lot!”

“We’ve learned to be patient and we forgive.”

“We don’t sweat the small stuff!”

“We communicate constantly.”

“We adore our kids, but they know that our marriage has always come first.”

“We love family time!”

“We fight fair – we are never nasty.”

“We value each other’s privacy and know when to leave the other alone!”

“We have our separate interests but we spend a lot of time together.”

“We’ve never let anyone come between us.”

“We share many good friends.”

“We’ve resisted temptation and stayed faithful to each other.”

“We trust each other as we trust no one else.”

One bold forty-something wife announced this past Shabbat before 200 people, “We have great sex!”

Over the years I’ve also learned that long-term happily married couples don’t take each other for granted. They tell each other frequently that they love one another. They hold hands. They bring each other unexpected gifts at unexpected times. They accept each other’s differences and have long since stopped trying to change the other. They don’t harbor resentments and they avoid blame. They respect each other’s talents, viewpoint, opinions, and feelings. They cherish each other in ways large and small. They compromise. They share their economic resources as equal partners (money being just one dimension of their partnership) regardless of who earns the most or who brought the most into the marriage. They give generously to each other and there’s never a quid pro quo.

No marriage, of course, is perfect. No marriage has all the above going for it. Every marriage has challenges, difficulties and moments of tension. However, successful and happy marriages are those in which both partners work hard to understand and accept the other as well as accommodate the other’s needs.

Marriages fail for all kinds of reasons. Some die natural deaths when one or both partners grow apart; when one or the other stops caring; when there is disloyalty and unfaithfulness; when injury is left unaddressed and unresolved; when one or both cannot own and apologize for bad behavior; when spouses are rigid, uncompromising, and insistent that things be their way; when one person must always have the last word.

Marriages fail as well when one or both partners have an untreated personality disorder, suffer from mental illness, are abusive, or are plagued with addiction problems.

When I meet and talk with couples before officiating at their weddings, I try and identify areas where I sense that there may be conflict that could develop into serious trouble if left unaddressed, such as how the couple communicates, what are their shared values, and how each partner approaches sex, power, money, in-laws, and leisure. I remind them that marriage is dynamic and ever-changing, and that honest and open communication is critically important to their marital well-being.

I remind them as well that no matter how much they love each other now and how good their relationship is, they will certainly experience peaks and valleys going forward. However, if they place the well-being of their marriage and each other above all other concerns (e.g. work, in-laws, children, extended family, and finances), then it is likely that they will deepen their bond as the years pass.

Doing so is always worth it. In this spirit Mark Twain captures the wonder and ineffability of the marital bond:

“A marriage…makes of two fractional lives a whole; / it gives to two…lives a work, / and doubles the strength of each to perform it; / it gives to two questioning natures / a reason for living, / and something to live for; / it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, / a new fragrance to the flowers, / a new beauty to the earth, / and a new mystery to life.”

 

 

To Be or Not To Be Spock – Leonard Nimoy Discusses his “Live Long and Prosper” Hand Gesture

20 Sunday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, Inuyim - Prayer reflections and ruminations, Jewish Identity, Tributes

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My friends know that Leonard Nimoy is married to my first cousin Susan (her father and my mother were brother and sister). I have been close with Susan, who is a “smidge” older than me, throughout my adult life from our 20s when we rediscovered each other as young adults outside of childhood.

When Susan married Leonard twenty-five years ago I had only known him the way the public does, as a fine actor and director, the creator of Mr. Spock on the Star Trek series, as Morris Meyerson, the husband of Golda Meir, in Leonard’s Emmy-nominated role opposite Ingrid Bergman in “A Woman Called Golda,” as a liberal political activist, and as a committed Jew.

What I didn’t know was Leonard’s heart, and over these past two plus decades as a close family member, I have grown to love Leonard for so many reasons, not the least of which is that he makes my cousin Susan so happy (as she does him), but also because of his seriousness as an thinker and artist, his sense of humor and loving heart, his kindness and menschlechkite. My wife Barbara and I love him.

This five-minute interview with Leonard is a classic, and if you have not heard the story of his signature hand gesture of greeting/farewell as a Vulcan in Star Trek, do click onto the link below.

Leonard wrote two autobiographies; the first he called “I Am Not Spock”; the second he called “I Am Spock” – both are true, depending on circumstances.

As you will see, the hand gesture that accompanies “Live Long and Prosper” emerged out of Leonard’s earliest memories as a Jew accompanying his grandfather, father and older brother to shul on Shabbos morning in South Boston.

What I love most about this interview is that Leonard’s joy and love come pouring through, clearly reflecting that side of him which is NOT Spock!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyiWkWcR86I