Tag Archives: Ethics

“To Be Holy!” Simple But Not So Easy – Parashat Emor

25 Thursday Apr 2013

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There is a story told in the Rabbinic literature that “Rabbi Shimon ben Shetach one day commissioned his disciples to buy him a camel from an Arab. When they brought him the animal, they gleefully announced that they had found a precious stone in its collar, expecting their master to share in their joy.

“Did the seller know of this gem?” asked Rabbi Shimon. On being answered in the negative, he called out angrily, “Do you think me a barbarian that I should take advantage of the letter of the law by which the gem is mine together with the camel? Return the gem to the Arab immediately.”

When the Arab received it back, he exclaimed: “Blessed be the God of Shimon ben Shetach! Blessed be the God of Israel!” (Deuteronomy Rabba 3:3)

When my sons were young, their mother and I told them more than once that what they did, how they behaved, and the way they spoke to and treated others outside the home would reflect not only on them, but on us, their parents and on our family name. We reminded them to be honest, kind, modest, and to reflect those values always.

I often tell the story of Rabbi Shimon to students in my synagogue and remind them that what we do not only says much about who we are, but about our families and the Jewish people.

Until the modern period when communal values began to change broadly, the most respected Jew in the community was not necessarily the wealthiest and most politically influential, nor the celebrity, business maven, professional, or even the largest financial benefactor to community causes, as important as these people have been historically in Jewish communal life. Rather, the highest moral, ethical and religious virtues were expected to be emulated first and foremost by the Torah scholar. However, our sages understood that even the Torah scholar struggled mightily against the dominance of his yetzer hara (“the evil inclination”). [Note that almost all scholars before the modern period were men].

Here is Maimonides’ classic description of what is expected of the great Torah scholar:

“…When a person …is a great scholar, noted for his piety, people will talk about him, even if the deeds that he has committed are not offenses in the strict sense. Such a person is guilty of profaning the divine name (hillul ha-Shem), if he, for instance, makes a purchase and does not immediately pay for it, in the case where he has the money and the sellers demand it, but he stalls them; or if he indulges in riotous behavior and in keeping undesirable company; or if he speaks roughly to his fellows and does not receive them courteously but shows his temper and the like. All is in accordance with his status as a scholar. He must endeavor to be scrupulously strict in his behavior and go beyond the letter of the law. If he does this, speaking kindly to his fellows, showing himself sociable and amiable with the welcome for everyone, taking insult but not giving it; respect them, even those who make light of him; in all his actions until all praise and love him, enraptured by his deed – such a man has sanctified the name of God (Kiddush ha-Shem). Regarding such a person scripture states: ‘You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will be gloried.’” (Moses ben Maimon, Yesodei Ha-Torah 5:11)

“Sanctifying God’s Name” (Kiddush Ha-Shem), as RAMBAM teaches, concerns the entirety of life including business ethics, one’s conduct in mundane affairs, one’s refinement of behavior and public demeanor, one’s kindness and humility before one’s fellows and God.

Except for the very rare individual, each of us is a continuing battleground between our two yetzers (i.e. good and evil inclinations) and we must choose between them. For so many of us, base instinct rules. We are driven by need, desire, greed, jealousy, envy, lust, anger, impatience, fear, and hate. Others have an easier time being kind and generous, and struggle less. But we all struggle.

The reason Torah study is determinative for the scholar and is so important for all of us is because we can find ourselves everywhere in the sacred text. Every instinct and virtue is addressed.

My friend, Rabbi Mark Borowitz of Beit T’shuvah in Los Angeles, rightly teaches that anyone who says that the Torah is irrelevant to his/her life is hiding something. To the contrary, it is there that we can discover our deepest selves, a sense of meaning and purpose that will sustain and strengthen us for noble ends.

 

The Way to Holiness – Parashat Acharei Mot/K’doshim – A Poem

18 Thursday Apr 2013

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Exalted One – / You call us to holiness, / To climb the ladder, / Higher and higher, / To reach as far as we might, / But never to rise above the angels.

You call us to purity, / To be as priests, / In this world, / Separate and apart, / As intermediaries  / Between our flawed humanness / And Your Transcendent Oneness.

How do we come near / To You Who dwells on High? / How do we discover / You, enthroned beyond stars? / How can we reach / You, larger than thought? / How can we know / You, Ineffable Truth?

What is the way to holiness / If we be so bound to earth, / And driven by need, / And broken by grief?

You call us to rise up / and bow low to You, / At Your holy footstool, / To be enveloped in Your Glory, / To transcend our senses / Where sapphires glisten, / And angels praise, / And Torah letters shimmer, / And souls sing.

You say that Your teaching is not so distant, / Not across the seas beyond our reach, / Nor in the heavens above / Making it unattainable.

It is rather, close, / So very close, / In our hearts, / In our breath, / And upon our lips.

Almighty One – / You brought us out from Egypt / To renew us, / Redeem, free, heal, and restore us, / To ready us / As Your treasured people.

You led us into the wilderness, / Into silence and nothingness, / Into a blank slate, / And you painted a picture of our lives / And commanded us to be / Like paint upon a landscape, / Parent respecting, / Shabbat observing, / Torah learning, / Vengeance eschewing, / Righteousness doing, / Kindness performing, / Neighbor assisting, / Senior revering, / And stranger loving.

If this is what You intend for us / And if this is the way to be holy, / It is so very hard! / But those who seek You / Will continuously strive, / And we will teach this to our children.

 

 

 

When Saying Nothing is Worse Than Saying “No!”

11 Thursday Apr 2013

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I try and return every phone call and email that comes to me within 24 hours. Sometimes it takes a bit longer if my schedule is tight or I have not checked messages. Sometimes, I confess, I deliberately do not return a call or email when I suspect that the incoming message is so nasty that to engage the sender would be pointless and toxic to my well-being. I receive such objectionable messages from time to time, usually in response to public positions I take in my writings. Other than these, I believe that each phone call, email and letter deserves a personal response as soon as I am able to do so.

It astonishes me that so frequently the individual is surprised that I call back so quickly, or even at all. Though most people I know do as I do, there are lots who clearly do not, and this is why I am writing today.

If you know people who habitually and/or selectively ignore calls and emails, please feel free to send them this blog, as it is meant for them.

I was taught from early childhood that when someone calls, you return the call. When someone gives you a gift, you write a thank you note. When someone does something nice for you, you express gratitude. This is simple derech eretz (lit. “the way of the land,” a Hebrew expression connoting common courtesy and mentchlechkite).

I believe that not to answer someone’s email, phone call or letter is rude, insulting and unacceptable, even when I am certain that something will be asked of me (e.g. to accept an invitation, to do someone a favor, to give to a charity or good cause, or to arrange a time to talk or meet). I also believe that saying “No” respectfully is always better than saying nothing at all.

There is an ethical principle involved. Judaism holds that if, for example, a beggar says hello and we ignore him we bear the guilt of inflicting upon him shame (bushah). It may be that the beggar offered us the only thing he has to give – a greeting. To deliberately ignore him is, in effect, an insult because such silence denies his dignity (kavod) and diminishes him as a fellow human being.

A story is told of the Chassidic sage Rabbi Meshulam Zusha of Hanipol (1718–1800) that one night he was staying at an inn. A wealthy guest mistook him for a beggar and treated him disrespectfully. The guest later learned about Zusha’s true identity and asked Zusha for forgiveness.

Zusha said, “Why do you ask me to forgive you? You haven’t done anything to Zusha. You didn’t insult Zusha. You insulted a poor beggar. I suggest you go out and ask beggars everywhere to forgive you.”

Zusha’s story raises the issue of how we should properly treat people we perceive as being “other” than ourselves (i.e. the stranger, or someone of a different socio-economic station, nationality, ethnicity, race, or religion).

It is possible to learn much about a person’s character based solely on the way he or she treats someone who is different. Is such a person’s behavior respectful and kind, open-hearted and generous, or is he/she dismissive, rude, condescending, and withholding?

The Baal Shem Tov taught his disciples to imagine that inscribed on the forehead of every man, woman and child is the sign of the image in which God creates the human being – B’tzelem Elohim (lit. “In the Divine image”).

In practical terms, seeing the divine image in “others” means at the very least acknowledging their presence, and returning phone calls and emails promptly regardless of what we imagine to be the reason for the call. Again, my only exception is when I know that the caller will be abusive and disrespectful.

Not responding is common particularly in Washington, D.C. and Hollywood, places where power and politics define many relationships, and what you do is more important than who you are. It seems to me that this bad habit has become increasingly more common over the years.

Going forward, those of us who are guilty of this kind of behavior might change it, and that all of us should be teaching our children, grandchildren, and students by example that when we receive a communication from another person, the decent thing to do is answer it, even if our answer is respectfully “No!”

The Worst Teacher I Ever Had & The Most Important Lesson I Ever Learned

12 Tuesday Mar 2013

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I have taught children of every age since the early 1970s. In more than four decades I have learned many lessons about how people best learn, why teachers need to teach to the individual child and what is ultimately important in the teacher-student relationship. The Babylonian Talmud (Taanit 7a) teaches an important truth: “Amar Rabbi Hanina – Harbeh lamadti m’rabotai u-m’chaverai yoter m’rabotai, u-m’talmidai yoter mikulam (“I have learned much from my teachers, more from my fellow students/friends, and from my students, most of all.”)

Though this Talmudic passage is generally true for me, nevertheless, one of the most important lessons I ever learned was when I was still a high school student. In the 11th grade I took a class from among the most popular and beloved teachers in my school. He was smart, charismatic, dynamic, devoted, emotionally accessible, and cared for his students – or most of them.

As part of his pre-college English class he required that students read a great deal of great literature and then write and give oral “book reports” on the books he assigned. During one lunch hour I was scheduled to present my report. In preparation, I had read the book as carefully as I could, underlined key passages, organized my thoughts in written notes, and brought all of that with me. I spoke for about 10 minutes during the lunch hour.

It was a custom for many students to congregate in his classroom during lunch, so many of my friends were present. At the end of my presentation he asked me an important question that to this then 17 year-old I did not understand. He asked again, and when I did not respond correctly a second time he exploded, accused me publicly of not reading the book, of relying on the book jacket for all my information, and then threw chalk and paper clips at me in a display that was, to say the least, shocking. I was humiliated, but his rant didn’t stop then. He carried it on into the next two periods accusing me in my absence and to my classmates of cheating.

I am reminded of this story often, and most especially this week when I heard that he was retiring after more than 60 years of teaching, that many students had come to honor him and express their gratitude. I too am grateful, but for very different reasons.

When I have had the urge to express frustration and/or anger at a student, I think of this teacher and credit him for reminding me of the wounds that such behavior caused me and that could cause to my own students. I once failed a student by embarrassing him, and when I did I sought him out to apologize and ask his forgiveness, which he magnanimously gave to me.

Years ago I wrote to my high school teacher to let him know of my experience that day. I had to get it off my chest and confront him directly. I am certain he received the letter, but I did not receive a response.

Rashi (11th century, France) taught that the teacher must always demonstrate patience and kindness towards the student regardless of the student’s academic, intellectual, or emotional ability, and to teach according to every student’s needs. If a student needs extra assistance, the teacher must see to it patiently that the student eventually understands.

Jewish tradition regards humiliating another human being publicly as equivalent to the shedding of blood (i.e. murder). This principle extends to all relationships and especially if there is a power differential (e.g. parent-child, teacher-student, employer/customer-employee, etc.).

Of course, criticism by a teacher to a student, an employer to employee, and within family and among friends and colleagues should be given – but, it should be done privately, carefully, patiently, and with loving concern that the receiver of such criticism understand it and have an opportunity to improve and/or change behavior.

Having said all this, I also remember with great love and respect my Talmud teacher, Dr. Abraham Zygelboim (zal) at HUC-JIR in Los Angeles. As a rabbinic student in my mid-20s, I had suffered a painful break-up with my then-girlfriend and I was emotionally devastated. Between classes I needed to take a few minutes for myself, so I walked outside and sat against a wall and wept.

Dr. Zygelboim approached me and kissed my forehead without ever saying a word. His sweetness will stay with me all the days of my life, just as the bitter memory of my high school teacher’s humiliation stays with me.

We are, each of us, powerful beings, and we often underestimate our capacity to touch and/or harm others. Indeed, how we treat others and speak to them defines the nature of our character more than anything else we may say, teach or do.

“If you can’t win by playing fair, cheat!”

27 Sunday Jan 2013

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So writes Charles Blow of the Republican Party on the Op-Ed pages of the New York Times (January 25, 2013).

In key toss-up states controlled by Republican legislatures in the most recent presidential contest, the Republican Party had attempted to skew the vote towards Governor Romney by rigging the system so as to reduce the number of Democrats who would be able to vote. The GOP used a number of strategies including reducing the number of voting places and voting machines in Democratic districts, eliminating the weekend for voting before the election, and shortening the number of hours the polling places would be open that would adversely affect areas populated by minorities, seniors and the poor who tend to vote Democratic. The Republicans had also attempted to require photo identification in order to vote which puts the poor and elderly at a disadvantage, most of whom, of course, tend to vote for Democrats.

Despite this blatant assault on the most basic of democratic freedoms (i.e. the right to vote in free elections), voters in those targeted districts defiantly either voted early by mail or stood for hours in rain and cold to vote. Such long lines, of course, did not exist in districts where Republicans were in the majority.

After trying to unsuccessfully suppress the Democratic vote in 2012, the Republicans have devised a new strategy to win future presidential elections. Though both the Democratic and Republican parties have gerrymandered their state districts to give their respective party advantages, the 2010 gerrymander effort by Republicans has effectively enabled them to retain their majority in the House of Representatives despite the fact that Democrats nationally won more than one million more votes than their Republican colleagues.

Now the Republicans (as described by Charles Blow – click on link below) are trying something new, to rig the election by changing the way states allocate electoral votes in presidential elections.

Currently, states are winner-take-all for the Electoral College, meaning that the candidate who wins a state’s popular vote receives all that state’s electoral votes. The Republicans want to change the system and award electoral votes proportionally by congressional district regardless of who wins the most votes state-wide. On its face, this does not seem unreasonable until one looks at the numbers and connects the dots. This system would favor less populated rural areas that vote Republican over more populated urban areas that vote Democratic by giving them equal weight. Had this system been in effect in 2012, Governor Mitt Romney would have won the presidency despite losing by millions of votes nationally to President Barack Obama.

The only comfort I take from these underhanded undemocratic shenanigans is that they are a reflection of desperation within the GOP that is struggling to stay competitive in a country in which demographics have changed against Republicans and that Republican ideas and approaches to government are no longer held in the majority.

If the Republicans are defeated in these vote-rigging efforts I suspect that the GOP as currently constituted will die from its own self-inflicted wounds. In its place I would hope that there would emerge a new kind of Republican Party that is more moderate, more pragmatic, more inclusive, more compromising, and more democratic.

The United States works best with a viable two-party system that can meet often on common ground and arrive at a workable national consensus on policy while checking the excesses of the other. We certainly do not need one party like the current Republican Party that thinks nothing of cheating the public and undermining our democratic system.

See Charles Blow’s column:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/26/opinion/blow-rig-the-vote.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20130126

“Dear Prime Minister Netanyahu: U.S. Jews are fed up with not being valued” by Rabbi Eric Yoffie in Haaretz today

16 Wednesday Jan 2013

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Rabbi Eric Yoffie has challenged Prime Minister Netanyahu to bring religious pluralism to the Jewish state and show respect and honor to Reform and Conservative Jews in Israel and the Diaspora. This is a powerful piece that only subscribers to Haaretz will read, which is why I have posted it here in full.

“In your post-election Knesset speech, address directly the Reform and Conservative majority of American Jews – the heart of our Jewish family and the core of Jewish support for Israel – and who are finished being understanding and patient while Israel’s official representatives offend them and denigrate their religious practices.”

Dear Prime Minister Netanyahu:

American Jews are exceedingly agitated about issues of religious freedom, and there are things that you—acting on your own—can do about it.

I write to you now because after the election, which I am sure that you will win, you will be immersed in the politics of putting together a new coalition. Everyone, including the Orthodox parties, will be making demands of you, and it will be easy to forget that the citizens of Israel are not your only constituency. The Jews of the Diaspora—and of America in particular—also look to you, as the Prime Minister of the Jewish State, for leadership. And what they need right now is your help in creating a new alliance between the Diaspora and Israel built on trust and mutual respect.

And the starting point must be a new approach on Israel’s part to issues of religious pluralism. Peace, settlements and the Iranian threat are all matters of deep concern, in the Diaspora as they are in Israel. But the simple fact is that the failure of Israel to offer recognition and support for the streams of Judaism with which the great majority of American Jews identify is nothing less than a disgrace—and an obstacle to engaging fully on all the other issues on Israel’s agenda.

Let me say it directly: American Jews are fed up. They have had enough. They are finished being understanding and patient. They will no longer accept that Reform and Conservative Judaism are ostracized by Israel’s government bureaucracy; they will no longer tolerate that Reform and Conservative rabbis are scorned and despised in Israel; they will no longer sit silently while Israel’s official representatives offend them and denigrate their religious practices. You have seen some of this newly aroused anger in the reaction of Diaspora Jewry to the arrests and detentions at the Western Wall; and this is only the beginning. And make no mistake: The angry voices are not coming from the ranks of the indifferent or the fringe left. They are coming from the heart of American Jewish leadership.

As to what must happen now, American Jews understand your coalition politics; they are not ignorant or naive when it comes to such things. They are fully aware of what it is that you cannot do. But they are furious that Israel’s leaders have not done what they can do.

And what you could do, Mr. Prime Minister, is the following: When you present your new government to the Knesset, you could say that the time has come for a new national dialogue in Israel on religious pluralism. You could point out that only 2 million of the 13.5 million Jews in the world are Orthodox, and that the overwhelming majority of American Jews come from the Reform and Conservative streams. You could say that these streams are the heart of our Jewish family and the core of Jewish support for Israel. You could recognize that Orthodox Jewish leaders in Israel and elsewhere profoundly disagree with the positions taken by these streams, but whether one agrees with them or not, it is the intention of the State of Israel to embrace them and draw them near—because it is the right thing to do, our Jewish future depends on it, and it is also serves the vital interests of the Jewish State.

Then you could say that you will use the authority of the Prime Minister’s office to assure that allocations will be made available to synagogues and rabbis of the Reform and Conservative streams on the same basis as the Orthodox stream. (Since the two movements are small, the allocations will be modest). You could make it clear that you will no longer wait until you are forced to act by the courts.

You could announce your intention to invite Israeli Reform and Conservative rabbis to participate in state events, and mention that you will personally ask Reform and Conservative rabbis and scholars to teach the Bible study group that you conduct in your home.

And you could ask a prominent member of your Cabinet to chair a Commission intended to study how the Reform and Conservative streams, in Israel and the Diaspora, can be brought into a new relationship with the Jewish State.

You need not sweep away the Orthodox religious bureaucracy. You need not solve the problems of conversion and civil marriage—as welcome as such a solution would be. Such things may not be possible now. But you do need to speak out strongly and publicly in favor of a new initiative by the State of Israel to connect with the non-Orthodox religious movements. And if Shas and United Torah Judaism are unhappy, so be it.

Mr. Prime Minister, this is a time for you to inspire American Jews and to demonstrate that the State of Israel values the religious choices that they make. This is a time for daring, and creating a new partnership that will be an essential element of your legacy.

Sincerely yours,

Rabbi Eric H. Yoffie

Rabbi Eric H. Yoffie served as president of the Union for Reform Judaism from 1996 to 2012. He is now a writer, lecturer, and teacher, and lives with his family in Westfield, New Jersey.  

 

“In Israel, despair is not an option!”

13 Sunday Jan 2013

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It would be easy to throw up one’s hands in despair about prospects for an Israeli-Palestinian peace deal anytime soon. Most of the news is negative except that Israeli pollsters say the vast majority of Israelis dearly want peace and accept the principle of a two-state solution, but few expect it to happen soon.  

Mahmud Abbas does not sound of late like the peace-partner Ehud Olmert and Shimon Peres believe him to be. In a major speech last week, for example, President Abbas made no mention of the necessity of a two-state solution and the land-for-peace formula. Instead, he called on the Palestinians to continue their struggle and he pointed to Hajj Amin al-Husseini as a memorable past Palestinian leader. Al-Husseini was in alliance with Hitler during WWII and developed plans to build an “Auschwitz” in the West Bank.

I understand why Abbas has turned to more extreme rhetoric, to counteract the ascendency of Hamas. But his doing so is a tragedy. I had hoped that after his successful UN bid he would take the opportunity to drop his preconditions and sit down with Netanyahu to negotiate an end-of-conflict solution. It is exceptionally disheartening that he did not do so.

On the other hand, Israel’s election campaign has given voice to the most extreme elements in Israeli society and politics. Naftali Bennet and his new “Jewish Home” party has called for the unilateral annexation of 40% of the West Bank into Israel, and polls indicate that he would attain between 16 and 18 mandates in the next Knesset. Likud’s Moshe Feiglin, representing the extreme wing of Netanyahu’s party, has called for the unilateral annexation of the West Bank and suggested that Israel pay each Palestinian family $500,000 to leave their homes and go to another country. The growth of the right-wing settler movement combined with the ultra-Orthodox religious parties will likely pull Netanyahu further to the right, which will make achieving a two-state solution even more difficult in the next Knesset.

Both sides are frustrated, afraid of losing face and are digging in their heels. Palestinians see Israeli intransigence, continued occupation and a denial of their human rights and a state of their own as intolerable. Israelis fear the radicalization of the Palestinians and Hamas’ potential overthrow of the PA and endless terror and war, and they worry further that the “Arab Spring” will continue its hostility to Israel. And, last but certainly not least, they regard Iran’s development of nuclear weapons as a mortal threat. 

And then there are those of us in Israel and America who believe that the only solution that preserves Israel’s Jewish majority and democratic character, while being the best guarantor for the Jewish state’s long-term security and improved international standing as a progressive nation is the two-state solution.

I asked recently an Israeli friend whether he feels despair given the current trends and he said, “John, in Israel despair is not an option.”

In difficult times as these I find it worthwhile to look to history for wisdom and hope, whose ark often swings from one extreme to another. With this perspective, it is remarkable indeed that our own American founding fathers created the constitutional democracy that we have today, that the allies defeated the Nazis, that in their place emerged a new Germany and eventually a strong European Union, that the State of Israel was created at all, that the Berlin Wall fell and soon thereafter the Soviet Union crumbled, that peace came to Northern Ireland, and that an African American was elected twice as President of the United States.

History holds many surprises, and I hope that the next big one is peace between Israel and the Palestinian people.

Rebbe Nachman of Bratzlav taught: “Remember: Things can go from the very worst to the very best…in just the blink of an eye.”

And Dr. Martin Luther King, whose birthday we recall this week, said, “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”

I wish the Israelis well in their election next week. Should Prime Minister Netanyahu form a new government, as he is expected to do, I pray that he commit himself to find a way to work hard for peace between Israel and Palestinians in a two-state end-of-conflict solution.

From here, thousands of miles away, we American Jews have the duty, I believe, to do everything we can to support that effort by persuading President Obama and the United States to engage aggressively and soon to help the Israelis and Palestinians achieve an agreement that addresses the yearnings of both peoples for dignity, security, justice, and peace.

None of this will be easy, but as my Israeli friend reminded me, “In Israel despair is not an option.”