Yom Kippur is like no other holyday in Judaism as it puts us directly in touch with the sacred; Kol Nidre evening is like no other night in Judaism as it draws in our people from every quarter; and the Kol Nidre melody is like none other in Jewish worship as it opens the broken heart to the deepest of spiritual mysteries.

It is told of Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk that he once attended a wedding where he heard a young man playing a violin. He called to the violinist and asked him to play Kol Nidre. Hearing its somber moving tones, the Kotzker Rebbe said: “It is possible to be moved to do t’shuvah (repentance) even by hearing Kol Nidre played on the violin!”

Why is Yom Kippur so powerful? What is it about Kol Nidre night that attracts so many Jews?

There are many reasons; the darkened, full and quiet Sanctuary, the spectacle of an empty Ark upon entering, the wearing of white by hundreds of worshippers, the stately and silent procession of the sifrei Torah with only the ringing of the silver bells punctuating the quiet, the glorious and awe-inspiring music, the powerful liturgical message calling upon us to make amends, the expectation that we will drop our pretensions, acknowledge our failings and frailties, and commit to live on a higher moral and spiritual plane, and our return to community, the Jewish people, Torah, and God.

Rabbi Eddie Feinstein offers a powerful insight to who we are and what this day is really all about in his interpretation of a passage that we read immediately before the Kol Nidre is chanted: ….anu matirin l’hitpalel im ha-avaryanim (“We are permitted to pray with sinners”). He suggests that ha-avaryanim (“sinners”) can also refer to “Iberians.”

Iberians were Jews who lived in Spain and Portugal from Roman times until their expulsion in 1492. When they fled into Europe, Ashkenazi Jews (those from Germany and the surrounding lands) could not tell one Iberian Jew from another. Consequently, they suspected that all of them were conversos (i.e. secret Jews who were forced to convert to Catholicism though in their hearts they remained Jews). Rabbi Feinstein suspects that in order to include the Iberians in the community the rabbis wrote this prayer intending it to mean, “We are permitted to pray with ha-avaryanim – these Iberians.”

What is the lesson? He says: “We are all Iberians. We are all hiding something. We all have secrets. We have all failed at something, betrayed some idea. We have all found ourselves far from where we planned to be in life. We all have shame. We all have movements when life drives us off our map. We arrive at Kol Nidre seeking a second chance, a second chance to come home, to join the community, to seek God’s forgiveness and a new beginning.” (All These Vows: Kol Nidre, edited by Rabbi Larry Hoffman, Jewish Lights publ., p. 146-148)

When we enter the synagogue as one disparate people on Friday evening, each of us has, in effect, come home!

G’mar chatimah tovah!

No matter how much we fear it, try to escape it or ignore it, death comes to everyone. Death is a fundamental theme during these 10 Days of Repentance as we confront ultimate reality and truth. It is a mistake, however, to think in morbid terms. Rather, we Jews are called upon to think positively and to live our lives moving forward on the one hand, but with the consciousness of living backwards on the other all the while being aware that life is short, time should not be wasted, and that now is our moment to take responsibility for ourselves, acknowledge frailty, make amends, and commit ourselves to change our behavior and way of being in the world. In doing all this (i.e. t’shuvah – repentance) we realize that wealth, fame and even wisdom and virtue provide no sanctuary for any of us.

Somewhere I read the following:

“It won’t matter in the end what we owned or what we were owed. At the end our grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will disappear. So too will our hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away. It won’t matter from where we came, or on what side of the tracks we lived. It won’t matter whether we were beautiful, brilliant, or talented. What will matter isn’t the number of our days, but how we numbered our days.”

The ethicist Michael Josephson said it this way:

“What will matter is not what we bought but what we built; not what we got but what we gave; not our success but our significance; and not what we learned but what we taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, and sacrifice that enriched, empowered, or encouraged others to emulate our example.

What will matter is not our competence but our character; not how many people we knew but how many will feel a lasting loss when we’re gone.

What will matter are not our memories but the memories that live in those who loved us;

And what will matter is how long we’ll be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not a matter of circumstance — but of choice.”

The Un’taneh Tokef (the signature prayer of Rosh Hashanah) reminds us that we are here for a short span of years, and what is important is not how much time we have but what we do with our time and whether we make a difference that really counts.

When we enter the synagogue on Kol Nidre and stare into an Ark empty of its sifrei Torah and then say throughout the day confession upon confession ending with Shma at Neilah, we are reminded that our task is to wipe the slate clean, reinvent ourselves and restore ourselves to Torah, God, community, and the people we love.

Chazak v’eimatz – be strong and of good courage. Gmar chatimah tovah u-l’shanah tovah u-m’tukah!