Until Death Do Us Part – How Couples Successfully Sustain Their Marriages Over Time

23 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Life Cycle, Tributes

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For the past twenty-five years on the Shabbat evening in Pesach my congregation has celebrated the Biblical Song of Songs as well as “milestone” wedding anniversaries of members of our community.

I have offered hundreds of blessings – once to a couple married for 70 years, twice to couples married for 65 years each and three times for 60 years. Many have celebrated 55 and 50 years continuing in descending integrals of 5 years each that we arbitrarily designate as “milestone anniversaries.” It is a joyous Shabbat including children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

Given the 50% divorce rate among American Jews (now equal to the general American population) I ask each couple as they come forward for a blessing:

“How have you done it? What has sustained you for so long?”

Responses vary; some are hysterically funny and others wise from experience:

“She talks; I listen.”

“I agree with everything he says… especially when I don’t!”

“I let him think that every major decision went her way!”

“We laugh a lot!”

“We’ve learned to be patient and we forgive.”

“We don’t sweat the small stuff!”

“We communicate constantly.”

“We adore our kids, but they know that our marriage has always come first.”

“We love family time!”

“We fight fair – we are never nasty.”

“We value each other’s privacy and know when to leave the other alone!”

“We have our separate interests but we spend a lot of time together.”

“We’ve never let anyone come between us.”

“We share many good friends.”

“We’ve resisted temptation and stayed faithful to each other.”

“We trust each other as we trust no one else.”

One bold forty-something wife announced this past Shabbat before 200 people, “We have great sex!”

Over the years I’ve also learned that long-term happily married couples don’t take each other for granted. They tell each other frequently that they love one another. They hold hands. They bring each other unexpected gifts at unexpected times. They accept each other’s differences and have long since stopped trying to change the other. They don’t harbor resentments and they avoid blame. They respect each other’s talents, viewpoint, opinions, and feelings. They cherish each other in ways large and small. They compromise. They share their economic resources as equal partners (money being just one dimension of their partnership) regardless of who earns the most or who brought the most into the marriage. They give generously to each other and there’s never a quid pro quo.

No marriage, of course, is perfect. No marriage has all the above going for it. Every marriage has challenges, difficulties and moments of tension. However, successful and happy marriages are those in which both partners work hard to understand and accept the other as well as accommodate the other’s needs.

Marriages fail for all kinds of reasons. Some die natural deaths when one or both partners grow apart; when one or the other stops caring; when there is disloyalty and unfaithfulness; when injury is left unaddressed and unresolved; when one or both cannot own and apologize for bad behavior; when spouses are rigid, uncompromising, and insistent that things be their way; when one person must always have the last word.

Marriages fail as well when one or both partners have an untreated personality disorder, suffer from mental illness, are abusive, or are plagued with addiction problems.

When I meet and talk with couples before officiating at their weddings, I try and identify areas where I sense that there may be conflict that could develop into serious trouble if left unaddressed, such as how the couple communicates, what are their shared values, and how each partner approaches sex, power, money, in-laws, and leisure. I remind them that marriage is dynamic and ever-changing, and that honest and open communication is critically important to their marital well-being.

I remind them as well that no matter how much they love each other now and how good their relationship is, they will certainly experience peaks and valleys going forward. However, if they place the well-being of their marriage and each other above all other concerns (e.g. work, in-laws, children, extended family, and finances), then it is likely that they will deepen their bond as the years pass.

Doing so is always worth it. In this spirit Mark Twain captures the wonder and ineffability of the marital bond:

“A marriage…makes of two fractional lives a whole; / it gives to two…lives a work, / and doubles the strength of each to perform it; / it gives to two questioning natures / a reason for living, / and something to live for; / it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, / a new fragrance to the flowers, / a new beauty to the earth, / and a new mystery to life.”

 

 

To Be or Not To Be Spock – Leonard Nimoy Discusses his “Live Long and Prosper” Hand Gesture

20 Sunday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, Inuyim - Prayer reflections and ruminations, Jewish Identity, Tributes

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My friends know that Leonard Nimoy is married to my first cousin Susan (her father and my mother were brother and sister). I have been close with Susan, who is a “smidge” older than me, throughout my adult life from our 20s when we rediscovered each other as young adults outside of childhood.

When Susan married Leonard twenty-five years ago I had only known him the way the public does, as a fine actor and director, the creator of Mr. Spock on the Star Trek series, as Morris Meyerson, the husband of Golda Meir, in Leonard’s Emmy-nominated role opposite Ingrid Bergman in “A Woman Called Golda,” as a liberal political activist, and as a committed Jew.

What I didn’t know was Leonard’s heart, and over these past two plus decades as a close family member, I have grown to love Leonard for so many reasons, not the least of which is that he makes my cousin Susan so happy (as she does him), but also because of his seriousness as an thinker and artist, his sense of humor and loving heart, his kindness and menschlechkite. My wife Barbara and I love him.

This five-minute interview with Leonard is a classic, and if you have not heard the story of his signature hand gesture of greeting/farewell as a Vulcan in Star Trek, do click onto the link below.

Leonard wrote two autobiographies; the first he called “I Am Not Spock”; the second he called “I Am Spock” – both are true, depending on circumstances.

As you will see, the hand gesture that accompanies “Live Long and Prosper” emerged out of Leonard’s earliest memories as a Jew accompanying his grandfather, father and older brother to shul on Shabbos morning in South Boston.

What I love most about this interview is that Leonard’s joy and love come pouring through, clearly reflecting that side of him which is NOT Spock!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyiWkWcR86I

 

Erotic Poem, Intra-Divine Allegory – or Both?

18 Friday Apr 2014

Posted by in Beauty in Nature, Divrei Torah, Holidays, Inuyim - Prayer reflections and ruminations, Musings about God/Faith/Religious life, Poetry

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“The world is not as worthy as the day on which the Song of Songs was given to Israel, for all the writings are holy, but the Song of Songs is the Holy of Holies.”

So said Rabbi Akiva (2nd century Palestine), who believed that The Song of Songs, traditionally attributed to King Solomon as a young man, is an allegory between two lovers, God and Israel.

According to Moshe Idel, Professor of Jewish Thought at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem (Kabbalah – New Perspectives, 1990), the 12th century Spanish mystic, Rabbi Ezra ben Solomon of Gerona, the 13th century Castilian mystic, Rabbi Isaac ibn Avi Sahula, and others focus on what are called the theosophical processes taking place between the two lower Sefirot of Tiferet (symbolized by the bridegroom) and Malchut (symbolized by the bride). According to these Kabbalists, both the biblical description and human love itself reflect or symbolize higher events within the metaphysical structure of God. (p. 206)

In other accounts, such as that of the 13th century Spanish Kabbalist, Avraham ben Shmuel Abulafia, The Song of Songs is an allegory of the intellect and its union with God.

These allegorical interpretations of The Song of Songs, beginning with Rabbi Akiva, are the basis upon which The Song of Songs is read each year on the Shabbat during Pesach, for it is then that we celebrate our people’s redemption on the one hand and the hoped-for-redemption of God within God’s Divine Self on the other.

All that being said, this extraordinarily enriched poetry seems at first glance to be a purely secular poem (God’s Name is never mentioned) celebrating young, sensuous and erotic love, the passionate draw of two lovers yearning for relief from their existential loneliness:

“For Love is strong as death / Harsh as the grave. / Its tongues are flames, a fierce / And holy blaze” (8:6 – Translation by Marcia Falk)

Taking the Songs as a secular poem, an allegory, or both, the emotional and spiritual longing can be sated only by one’s human and/or Divine lover.

The great Rav Avraham Isaac Kook wrote of the higher love this way (Translation by Ben Zion Bokser):

“Expanses divine my soul craves. / Confine me not in cages, / of substance or of spirit.

I am love-sick / I thirst, / I thirst for God, / as a deer for water brooks.

Alas, who can describe my pain? / Who will be a violin / to express the songs of my grief?

I am bound to the world, / all creatures, / all people are my friends.

Many parts of my soul / are intertwined with them, / But how can I share with them my light.”

          Shabbat shalom and Moadim L’simchah!

 

 

 

 

“Is It Possible to be a Jewish Intellectual?” – Eva Illouz in Haaretz

16 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Ethics, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity, Social Justice

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“Is It Possible to be a Jewish Intellectual?” is an expansive six-thousand-one-hundred-word essay written by Sociology Professor Eva Illouz of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem that was published this week in Haaretz, Israel’s equivalent of The New York Times. It is a must-read piece for both Israelis and American Jews. I am grateful to my friend Mike Rogoff in Jerusalem for sending me the link to it. [Note: You must be a subscriber to Haaretz to access the article. In my view, this article makes a subscription worthwhile in and of itself].  http://www.haaretz.com/jewish-world/jewish-world-features/.premium-1.585401 

Dr. Illouz considers in-depth the concepts of “Ahavat Yisrael – Love for Israel” and “Solidarity for the Jewish people” as well as the ethical and tribal challenges that confront intellectuals in remaining detached from their national or religious group in order to retain their moral integrity.

Dr. Illouz begins her discussion by citing the famous exchange between Gershom Scholem, the great 20th century scholar of Jewish mysticism at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, and Hannah Arendt, the German Jewish political theorist who covered the Adolph Eichmann trial in Jerusalem in 1961 and who wrote a number of essays about it in The New Yorker and a book entitled Eichmann in Jerusalem.

After their publication Scholem accused Arendt, as a Jew, of

“…not having enough ‘ahavat Yisrael – love for the Jewish nation and people’ …. Instead of displaying what we would have expected from a Jew on such an occasion – undiluted horror at Eichmann’s deeds; unreserved compassion for the moral dilemmas of the Jewish leaders who dealt with the Nazis; solidarity with the State of Israel – Arendt analyzed each one with a cold sense of truth and justice, and blurred the moral terms in which these had been hitherto judged by the public.”

Dr. Illouz goes on to discuss the forces that have influenced contemporary American Jewish identity in light of the Holocaust, the establishment of the State of Israel, American Jewish political advocacy for Israel, and American Jewish organizational politics, all of which have served to embrace a priori the Jewish principle of “Ahavat Yisrael – Love of the people of Israel” as identical with “hyper-solidarity” with the political State of Israel and its policies regardless of their moral imperfections.

This essay lays the ground for us to consider both the nature of Israeli and American Jewish identity since the establishment of the state of Israel and the consequences of Israel having assumed political and governmental power as a nation-state for the first time in two thousand years. It also considers the impact of American Jewish organizational support for Israel and what it means to be pro-Israel.

 

 

Good Wishes and Hopes for Pesach – 5774

11 Friday Apr 2014

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This will be my final blog before Pesach begins, and I want to take the opportunity to wish all of you a season of renewal and joy.

May your Seders be punctuated with hope, enveloped by family and good friends, open to strangers and people in need of material and spiritual uplift, filled with prayers for justice and peace for our people, for the Palestinians, Syrians, Ukrainians, Venezuelans, Sudanese, Congolese, Egyptians, Iraqis, Afghanis, and all peoples suffering under the reality of and threat of violence and living with injustice.

I pray as well that all who are suffering from addictions and abuse of every kind find wholeness and relief from their wounds, and those suffering from illness and chronic pain find a way to overcome.

As Jews, we are a people of hope, not false hope, but a deeper kind of hope based in the unity of our people am Yisrael, the unity of humankind and the recognition that each human being belongs to each other. Our faith calls upon us to seek holistic and holy ways of being with each other and with the “other” with whom we live.

As a Jew and an ohev am u-M’dinat Yisrael, I have not given up on the current Israeli-Palestinian negotiations. I believe they will continue not only because there is too much to lose for Israel, the Palestinians and the United States if they end, but because in the Middle East maximum demands and extremist posturing usually precede breakthroughs. We will, of course, have to wait and see.

I wish for President Obama, Secretary Kerry, Prime Minister Netanyahu, and President Abbas not just the fortitude to carry on, but the wisdom and courage to find a way through the morass of issues that need resolution and compromise.

Jeffrey Goldberg has written a fine piece in the Bloomberg View on the dynamics of the current negotiations that is worth reading – “When Will Netanyahu Hail Himself to the Cross” (don’t let the title deter you from reaching his words) http://www.bloombergview.com/articles/2014-04-10/when-will-netanyahu-nail-himself-to-the-cross.

Shabbat shalom v’Chag Pesach Sameach, biv’racha u-b’ahavah,

Rabbi John Rosove

 

The Pesach Seder – 5th in a series of 5 Blogs

10 Thursday Apr 2014

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Add Depth, Meaning and Fun to Your Seder

Orange – Dr. Susanna Heschel asked everyone to take a segment of orange, say the blessing over fruit (Baruch Atah Adonai … borei p’ri ha-eitz), and eat it as a gesture of solidarity with Jewish lesbians, gay men, and others marginalized within the Jewish community (e.g. widows, single individuals). This tradition was changed, as Dr. Heschel explains, by homophobic men and women who felt they could never include homosexuals at their Seders. They deliberately changed the meaning of the orange’s presence on the Seder plate sarcastically when confronted with the large numbers of women being ordained by the liberal rabbinic seminaries saying, “Women rabbis are as appropriate in synagogue life as having an orange on a Seder plate.” We place an orange on the plate to remind us of both those marginalized historically from Jewish life and as a statement of gender inclusivity in Jewish leadership.

Olives – Olives are grown plentifully in the land of Israel and placing olives on our Seder plates connects us with Israelis and our people living in the ancient land. It also reminds us that the olive harvest is intrinsic to the economy of Palestinian Arabs, and when olive trees are cut down by settler groups in revenge or by the Israeli army for “security” reasons, we stand with those who are victimized.

Kos Miryam – In honor of the matriarch Miriam we remember the important role that women played in the Exodus story by having a glass of water next to the cup of Elijah. This tradition recalls the sea through which the Israelites passed and “Miriam’s Well,” believed to have sustained the people throughout their wandering until Miriam’s death.

Poetry – Ask Seder participants to bring poetry on the themes of freedom, change, redemption, hope, love, and salvation, and intersperse this poetry appropriately throughout the Seder.

Personal Testimonies – Ask individuals to share experiences from this past year that enabled them to escape from their own “enslavement” (e.g. bad habits, sugar, caffeine dependency, addictions, technology, life-depleting work, bad relationships, etc.). Ask participants to bring a concrete item that represents a liberating experience and share it with Seder participants.

Personal Memories – Ask older individuals to share the most meaningful Seder they ever attended from their childhood and why it was so memorable.

Burn Chometz – At the beginning of the Seder pass out paper and pencils and ask all to write what has enslaved them in the past year from which they wish to liberate themselves (see above in “Personal Testimonies”). Collect and burn in the fire place.

Acts of Redemption – At the beginning of the Seder pass out paper and pencils and ask all to write down what redeeming acts (e.g. acts of goodness, social justice work, pro-Israel pro-peace activism, hunger projects, etc.) they engaged in during the last year and collect them. Read them following the ten plagues.

Venue for the Seder – If the group is too large to gather comfortably around one table, move the Seder to a larger room so all can sit comfortably together.

Eat Earlier in the Seder to Sate Appetite – Say the blessings over Matzah and the Seder foods at the beginning of the Seder thereby allowing people to munch so that the Seder can go forward fully and to its proper conclusion.

Invite Non-family and Non-Jews – Fulfill the mitzvah to “welcome the stranger.” Not only do these invited guests appreciate coming, but if your family customarily “misbehaves” (i.e. doesn’t take the Seder seriously enough) the presence of non-Jews and non-family maintains control over rowdy and disrespectful individuals.

Afikoman Hunt – For very young children hide many Afikoman pieces wrapped in different colored napkins. Give each child a different color so they can find their piece. Everyone wins.

Scallions for Dayeinu – A Persian Jewish custom is for participants to smack each other on the head during the singing of Dayeinu.

Discussion Cards from Jewish World Watch – These tell the remarkable stories of JWW activists and survivors of genocide in Darfur and mass atrocities in Congo. Each embodies characteristics, or midot, to repair our broken world. https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?shva=1#inbox/14529fb5fc133045

J Street’s Passover Supplement – Support America’s Peace Mission of 2 states for 2 peoples and peace between Israel and the Palestinians. J Street is a pro-Israel pro-peace political and educational organization in Washington, D.C. and the largest pro-Israel PAC in the nation’s capital – see www.jstreet.org– https://act.jstreet.org/donate/passover2014_download/

Asylum Seekers in Israel – 30,000 refugees escaped Sudan and Eritria by foot to Israel and are seeking asylum and/or work until the vicious dictatorships of their host countries change. There is a clear and present danger should they be returned. Read about what Israel is doing to “contain” the refugees from the Los Angeles Jewish Journal – http://www.jewishjournal.com/womanwrites/item/bechol_dor_vador_how_you_can_make_a_difference_this_passover – click to the supplement prepared by T’ruah: The Rabbinic Call for Human Rights http://www.asylumseekers.org/uploads/4/7/0/6/4706099/rn_refugee_seder_2014_supplementfinal-1.pdf – sign a petition to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to cease detention of African Asylum Seekers in Israel – http://rightnowisrael.nationbuilder.com/

“Put Justice on Your Seder Plate” – Celebrate the workers who pick tomatoes and support their human rights campaign by putting a tomato on your Seder plate. T’ruah: The Rabbinic Call for Human Rights supports the Coalition of Immokalee Workers to create safe and fair conditions in the tomato fields. T’ruah is an organization of rabbis from all streams of Judaism that acts on the Jewish imperative to respect and protect the human rights of all people. See – http://www.truah.org/images/Tomato_on_Seder_Plate_2014.pdf

Religious Tolerance of Every Individual According to his/her Character – A Passover Supplement from Hiddush – Freedom of Religion for Israel https://www.dropbox.com/s/o1pa96tk4b9vgux/Hiddush%20Seder%20Supplement%205774.pdf

May this Passover season be one of rejoicing, rebirth and renewal for you and your dear ones.

 

 

 

A Rabbi at 93 and a Poem Called “The Promised Land” by Carl Dennis

09 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Ethics, Health and Well-Being, Holidays, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity, Jewish-Christian Relations, Musings about God/Faith/Religious life, Poetry, Social Justice, Tributes

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Rabbi Leonard Beerman has been in my life since I was 12 years old. He inspired so many in my generation and me to engage as young teens in the civil rights movement, to protest American military involvement in Vietnam, to apply for Conscientious Objector status during that war, to fight nuclear weapons proliferation, to engage in interfaith dialogue and create coalitions of decency on behalf of just causes, and to support the legitimate rights of the Palestinian people for a state of their own alongside a secure Israel despite (as Leonard put it many years ago) Palestinian “cruelty and stupidity.”

Leonard was a rabbinic student in 1948 learning Hebrew in Jerusalem when the War of Independence broke out, and he aided in the effort to help establish the Jewish state.

For the last 65 years Leonard has been a uniquely courageous and consistent voice in the American Rabbinate advocating for human rights here, in Israel and around the world despite personal ostracism and political blow-back at the hands of many fellow Jews. Leonard spoke as he did because he believes that the principles of justice, compassion and peace as articulated by the Biblical Prophets are primary Jewish ethical concerns.

Leonard is as eloquent and provocative a speaker as there is in American Judaism today. I grew up hearing the gentle resonance of his voice and the prophetic power of his words. His message at once inspires me, comforts me and forces me to think critically even if I do not agree with him. Even so, Leonard is always worth hearing because like the Biblical Prophet he understands that speaking truth is more important than feeding his community what he knows they want to hear.

Today, April 9, is Leonard’s 93rd birthday, and I send him birthday wishes with hopes that he will enjoy many more years of productive activism and good health with his dear wife Joan, his adoring children and grandchildren, and his many cherished colleagues, friends and admirers.

Leonard and I meet for lunch every few months to talk, share stories and thoughts about issues great and small, personal, Jewish and worldly. Last week when we met he brought me a poem that evokes the Jerusalem I love of Jewish messianic dreams and the real Jerusalem that I also love that inspires so much passion by so many and is one of the core issues in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

The poem, called “My Promised Land” by Carl Dennis, is at once wistful, melancholic and hopeful. It is worth reading at our Passover Seders because it reminds us of our messianic dreams and of the work that is yet to be done for the sake of peace:

“The land of Israel my mother loves / Gets by without the luxury of existence / And still wins followers, / Though it can’t be found on the map / West of Jordan or south of Lebanon, / Though what can be found / bears the same name, / Making for confusion.

Not the land I fought her about for years / But the one untarnished by the smoke of history, / Where no one informs the people of Hebron or Jericho / They’re squatting on property that isn’t theirs, / Where every settler can remember wandering.

The dinners I spoiled with shouting / Could have been saved, / Both of us lingering quietly in our chairs, / If I’d guessed the truth that now is obvious, / That she wasn’t lavishing all her love / On the country that doesn’t deserve so rich a gift / But on the one that does, the one not there, / That she hoped good news would reach its borders.

And cross into the land of the righteous and merciful / That the Prophets spoke of in their hopeful moods, / That was loved by the red-eyed rabbis of Galicia / Who studied every word of the book and prayed / To get one thread of the meaning right; / The promised Land where the great and small / Hurry to school and the wise are waiting.”

 

 

 

The Pesach Seder – 4th in a Series of 5 Blogs

07 Monday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, Ethics, Holidays, Jewish History, Jewish Identity, Jewish-Christian Relations, Musings about God/Faith/Religious life, Social Justice

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Significance of the Number 4 – In Jewish tradition, the number 4 (or multiples) appears constantly; the rains in the days of Noah fell for 40 days and nights; Moses communed with God on Mount Sinai for 40 days and received the entire Torah; the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years before entering the land of Israel; the holiest Name of God is 4 letters (YHVH); the gematria (i.e. number equivalence) for the Hebrew root “K-d-sh” (holy) is 404; and in the Seder there are 4 questions, 4 children and 4 cups of wine.

In western culture there are the 4 elements (fire, wind, earth, and water), 4 directions, and 4 winds, etc.

What therefore is the meaning of 4? The American mythologist, Joseph Campbell, has written that this number signifies completeness and wholeness (Hebrew – sh’leimut) the attainment of which is the primary goal of Pesach. During this season Judaism calls upon parents to turn their hearts towards their children and children to turn their hearts towards their parents, to restore family relationships and make peace in the home (shalom bayit). The Jewish people is called upon to turn away from baseless hatred (sinat chinam) one for another and unite as a people, to welcome the stranger and come close to God. The goal of Pesach is Oneness (Achdut) in every aspect of life. Once attained, Jews will gather from the 4 corners of the earth in the holy city of Jerusalem (the city of shalem – wholeness and messianic peace).

4 Questions– The 4 questions derive from a Greco-Roman tradition of having a feast followed by a philosophical discussion.

4 Children – The wise, evil, simple, and the one who does not know enough to ask. The wise wants to understand the rituals and messianic purpose of the Seder including the meaning of the Afikoman (see 1st blog). The evil one deliberately separates from community, is unaccountable, indifferent, and passive to the fate of the Jewish people. The simple one wants to know what to do to be a part of community. The one who doesn’t know enough to ask is the Jew who has no Jewish knowledge at all. All 4 kinds of people need to be present at our Seder tables and each responded according to who they are.

4 Cups of Wine – Recalls the 4 terms used to describe redemption (Exodus 6:6-8): “I shall take you out…”; “I shall rescue you…”; “I shall redeem you…”; “I shall bring you…”.

10 Plagues – (Blood, frogs, lice, wild beasts, blight, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, death of the first-born). These represent an attack on the ancient Egyptian gods to teach Israel and the Egyptians that YHVH is the only legitimate deity. We take the index finger and drop a bit of wine on our plates as we recite each plague symbolizing the reduction of our joy when our enemies suffer.

Dayeinu and Hallel – Sung just before the meal, Dayeinu expresses gratitude that God redeemed us and will one day facilitate the greatest redemption of all. The Hallel (passages from Psalms) is the most ancient section of the Hagadah.

Elijah – The prophet destined to announce the coming of the Messiah – Elijah’s Cup entered the Seder in the 15th or 16th century during an era of great distress, anxiety and fear in the Jewish community due to widespread anti-Jewish hatred inspired by the crusades, disputations, blood libel, and black plague.

The Open Door – Jewish folklore suggests that at the moment we open the door Elijah enters to bring the promise of hope. Originally, Jews opened the door to show Christian passers-by that nothing cultic or sinister was occurring at Jewish Seders. This tradition began during medieval times when the blood libel, desecration of the host, and fear of Jews inspired anti-Jewish riots during the Easter season. The most dangerous day of the year for the Jewish community was when Passover and Good Friday coincided.

Jews in Every Age – The Hagadah has elements that were introduced in every period in Jewish history including the Bible, Greek, Roman, Arab, Christian Europe, 19th Century Enlightenment, Zionism, the State of Israel, and the Holocaust. We are instructed that “every Jew must regard him/herself as if each of us personally went free from Egypt.” As we sit together at the Seder table, if we are sensitive to the subtleties and nuances of the Seder rites, rituals, Biblical and rabbinic texts, it is as if we join Jews living in every age at their Seder tables and link our lives with theirs.

The Messiah and Next Year in Jerusalem – The hope of the Jewish people is for a world to one day be redeemed of its brokenness, injustice, hardheartedness, indifference, suffering, and pain. The coming of the Messiah symbolizes our people’s hope and dream for the time of the messianic dominion of God.

To be continued…

 

The Pesach Seder – 3rd in a Series of 5 Blogs

06 Sunday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, Ethics, Holidays, Inuyim - Prayer reflections and ruminations, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity, Jewish-Christian Relations, Musings about God/Faith/Religious life, Social Justice, Women's Rights

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The Very First Seder in Jewish History – The first Seder was held in Egypt before the Exodus itself. Consequently, the Seder is not a celebration of redemption because the redeeming event had not yet taken place. Rather, the Seder is an expression of faith that there will be redemption in the future, that the world is not yet just and compassionate and that there is to be a more peaceful order of human affairs in a time to come.

The Seder as a Night-time Ritual – The Seder is the only full ritual that occurs at night and in the home. It is also the only time that the Hallel is said at night. Rabbi Levi Meier (z’l) suggested that whereas in daylight all things are public, at night our higher selves are revealed. When Jacob wrestled with a Divine/human being at the river Jabok we learn that following that struggle “Ya-akov shalem – Jacob became whole.” This night-time ritual moves us towards wholeness and integration (per Jungian theory – Rabbi Meier was a certified Jungian therapist) – i.e. the unification of body, mind, heart, and soul with God.

Birth Imagery in the Exodus Narrative – Birth imagery and the role of women in the Exodus narrative is prominently reflected in the Seder and therefore, alongside male images of God as a warrior and liberator, women are ancient Israel’s savers and sustainers of life. Feminine imagery is evoked especially at the Passover season because of the concurrence of the spring equinox when the lambing of the flocks took place. Most importantly, Passover celebrates the birth of the Jewish nation out of slavery. Israelite new-born boys were saved by two Hebrew mid-wives, Shifra and Puah. Yocheved (Moses’ mother) and Miriam (Moses’ older sister) saved the future liberator from certain death by placing him in a basket in the river, watching over him as he floated down the river, watching as he was drawn out of the river and saved by the Egyptian Princess, and by Miriam arranging with the Princess to have Moses’ own mother, Yocheved, act as his wet-nurse in the palace. Moses grew to manhood, never forgetting who he really was because of his engaged mother and sister, Yocheved and Miriam, and he eventually led the people through the opening of the Sea of Reeds, a metaphor of the opening of his womb. The Hebrew name for Egypt (Mitzrayim) means “coming from a narrow or constricted place,” such as a new-born moving through the birth canal. The salt water of the sea might suggest the amniotic fluid heralding both the birth of the Jewish nation into freedom and the beginning of spring.

Moses is Never Mentioned in the Hagadah – This obvious oversight was a deliberate attempt by the rabbis who developed the Hagadah in the first centuries of the Common Era (CE) to remind the people that it was God and God alone that redeemed the people from slavery. Much of the Hagadah developed in the centuries after Christianity made inroads into the Jewish community. The rabbis were concerned that Jews not deify any human leader as the Christians had done with Jesus.

Nachshon Ben Aminadav – The Midrash (rabbinic commentary) describes what happened when the Israelites arrived at the Sea of Reeds with the Egyptian army behind them in hot pursuit. Moses began to pray that God would save the people yet again while a little known figure, Nachshon Ben Aminadav, jumped into the sea and took history into his own hands. This is the first time a former slave acted on his own and on his people’s behalf. At that moment, in response to Moses’ prayer and Nachshon’s courageous deed, God split the sea and allowed the people to pass into freedom on dry land. Judaism affirms that God is a liberating force for justice and good, especially for the most vulnerable in society, and that we Jews are obligated by the Covenant to be drawn at Sinai to emulate God Who acted compassionately, defied injustice and strove to create a Jewish people (the early Zionist movement and the founding of the state of Israel is reflective of this earliest impulse in Jewish history).

Wine and Matzah in Christian Tradition – Jesus reportedly said at the Last Supper (thought to be a Passover Seder) while pointing at the matzah and wine, “This is my body and this is my blood!” (Matthew 26:26) Christian theologians developed the doctrine of transubstantiation (i.e. the Eucharist) and claimed it as legitimate continuation of first century Judaism. The deification of Jesus into a wholly Divine being, however, constitutes a significant theological leap and departure from traditional Judaism that affirms God as unknowable, infinite and eternal. For Jews, the bread represents the lamb of the Pascal offering. For Christians, Jesus replaced the lamb, and the wine symbolized his blood which led Jesus’ followers at that Seder to not be shocked by his alleged identification with the pascal offering. The anti-Semitic defamation in the “blood libel” is a convoluted distortion of the Eucharist turned on itself and against the Jewish people who had refused to accept the divinity of Jesus as the Christ Messiah.

To be continued…

 

 

 

 

 

Israeli and American Jews – The Struggle for Consensus and Current Tensions

04 Friday Apr 2014

Posted by in American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Ethics, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Jewish Identity, Social Justice

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In recent weeks Israeli and American Jewish activists, writers and thinkers have been discussing political and ideological trends within both the American Jewish community and Israeli society vis a vis the nature of pro-Israel activism and what Israel would need to compromise should the Israeli-Palestinian negotiations, now seriously threatened, ever advance.

There are, at the very least, two truths that seem to permeate much of our two societies these days. The first is the most consequential for the future security, Jewish and democratic character of the state of Israel; the distrust of Israelis towards Palestinians and Palestinians towards Israelis resulting in political/ideological recalcitrance of each side’s negotiating positions. The second is the growing ideological and emotional divide in the American Jewish community between left and right especially concerning the meaning of pro-Israel activism.

In the Middle East, it is unclear in the short-term whether American supported peace negotiations will continue. In the American Jewish community, conservative pro-Israel activists have undertaken a new campaign to discredit the pro-Israel legitimacy of J Street most recently reflected in a film called “The J Street Challenge” that is producing a great deal of ink.

J Street is the largest pro-Israel Political Action Committee in Washington, D.C. and over the nearly six years of its existence has attracted growing support among an increasingly large segment of the American Jewish community’s liberal pro-Israel community. The film “The J Street Challenge” reflects the American Jewish community’s right-wing disagreement with J Street’s policy positions (www.jstreet.org) and is fueled by strong animus towards the organization’s leadership.

[Note: I serve as a co-chair of the national Rabbinic Cabinet of J Street representing nearly 800 rabbis from all the American Jewish religious streams, and my son has served as a member of the J Street national staff almost since the founding of J Street six years ago. However, I appreciate and respect the long history of support in the nation’s capital for the state of Israel by AIPAC, though I am sad and continually disheartened to say that so many in AIPAC do not hold similar appreciation and respect for J Street].

I offer the following two articles that address American Jewish internal tensions and the concerns of the broad majority of Israeli citizens that make up the Israeli political center.

As events unfold it is important to understand the short-term and long-term implications of what is occurring within the American Jewish community and Israel alike especially relative to the following themes: The future of Israeli democracy and the Jewish character of the State of Israel; The lack of agreement that will bring about a two-states for two peoples resolution of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict; The meaning of pro-Israel activism in the United States; and the state of civility within the American Jewish community today.

The first article was written by Yossi Klein Halevi, a research fellow at the Shalom Hartman Institute in Jerusalem and a contributing editor to The New Republic. His piece “The Quiet Rise of the Israeli Center” (Times of Israel, March 23) is an insightful look at the dreams, concerns and worries of the largest bloc of Israeli citizens, the political moderate center – http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-quiet-rise-of-the-israeli-center/

The second is written by Larry Gellman, one of America’s top money managers and financial advisers, who has been active as a lay American Jewish leader for thirty years with Jewish Federations, State of Israel Bonds, AIPAC, J Street, CLAL, and Hillel. He has helped to create and fund Jewish Day Schools in two American cities. Gellman lectures widely in the United States and Israel on Judaism and business ethics. His op-ed that follows is therefore significant because of his standing as a mainstream leader in the American Jewish community – “Donor Slams Federation for Divisive ‘Political Attack Ad’ Aimed at J Street” (The Jewish Daily Forward, April 3) http://forward.com/articles/195784/donor-slams-federation-for-divisive-political-atta/?p=all