14 Sunday Apr 2013
Posted in Uncategorized
“We pause in memory of our sons and daughters who gave their lives for the security of our people in our homeland. Not in monuments of stones or trees shall their memories be preserved, but in the reverence and price which will, until the end of time, fill the hearts of our people when their memory is recalled.”
David ben Gurion
Zichronam livracha – May their memories be a blessing.
12 Friday Apr 2013
It seems that Natan Sharansky has successfully gained agreement between the Israeli and international Reform movement, the Women of the Wall (WOW) and the Chief Rabbi of the Western Wall (ultra-orthodox) that a section at the southern end of the Kotel beneath Robinson’s Arch will be designated by the government of Israel as being free for egalitarian liberal prayer on a footing equal to the area currently dominated by the ultra-orthodox.
The newly designated section will have its own entrance and will be allowed to host prayer and religious celebrations according to Conservative, Reform, Renewal, and Reconstructionist practice, meaning that women can pray alongside men, lead religious services, read from the Torah, wear tallitot, and sing aloud without concern of offending the ultra-orthodox community. (See complete story in the Jewish Daily Forward. http://forward.com/articles/174588/kotel-egalitarian-prayer-plan-set-in-motion-by-dra/?p=all)
The agreement will end police tolerance of the ugly insults by ultra-orthodox men and women against WOW including the orthodox screaming profanities, spitting on women worshipers, and police arresting women wearing tallitot, carrying Torah scrolls and reading from the sacred literature. Details are still to be worked out, but Natan Sharansky is to be congratulated on his “shuttle diplomacy” between the ultra-orthodox officials and liberal Jewish leaders that resulted in this compromise agreement.
This is a huge victory for religious pluralism and democracy in the State of Israel, but it is arguably only the beginning.
Other outstanding issues affecting non-orthodox Jews are still outstanding and need to be addressed. These include the need for the government to grant equal financial support for non-orthodox synagogues and institutions, equal pay for regional non-orthodox rabbis such as Rabbi Miri Gold (regional rabbi for Kibbutz Gezer who has not been paid despite the Supreme Court order that this occur), marriage equality for all Israeli citizens and the right to marry in the state without orthodox approval, and ending institutionalized preference for Orthodox Judaism.
In meetings yesterday here in Los Angeles with five members of the Knesset who were brought on tour of the Jewish communities of Chicago, Los Angeles and New York by the Jewish Federation of North America and the Jewish Agency of Israel (MK Avi Wortsman of Bayit HaYehudi, MK Yoel Razvozov of Yesh Atid, MK Hilik Bar of Avodah, MK Nachman Shai of Avodah, and MK David Tsur of HaTenuah), all five said they would support this historic compromise and bring their respective political parties, Bayit Hayehudi, Yesh Atid, HaTenuah, and Avodah along with them.
In my next blog I will report on the 90 minute frank, candid, and important conversation that we ten American Reform and Conservative Rabbis had with the five Members of the Knesset.
Shabbat Shalom
11 Thursday Apr 2013
I try and return every phone call and email that comes to me within 24 hours. Sometimes it takes a bit longer if my schedule is tight or I have not checked messages. Sometimes, I confess, I deliberately do not return a call or email when I suspect that the incoming message is so nasty that to engage the sender would be pointless and toxic to my well-being. I receive such objectionable messages from time to time, usually in response to public positions I take in my writings. Other than these, I believe that each phone call, email and letter deserves a personal response as soon as I am able to do so.
It astonishes me that so frequently the individual is surprised that I call back so quickly, or even at all. Though most people I know do as I do, there are lots who clearly do not, and this is why I am writing today.
If you know people who habitually and/or selectively ignore calls and emails, please feel free to send them this blog, as it is meant for them.
I was taught from early childhood that when someone calls, you return the call. When someone gives you a gift, you write a thank you note. When someone does something nice for you, you express gratitude. This is simple derech eretz (lit. “the way of the land,” a Hebrew expression connoting common courtesy and mentchlechkite).
I believe that not to answer someone’s email, phone call or letter is rude, insulting and unacceptable, even when I am certain that something will be asked of me (e.g. to accept an invitation, to do someone a favor, to give to a charity or good cause, or to arrange a time to talk or meet). I also believe that saying “No” respectfully is always better than saying nothing at all.
There is an ethical principle involved. Judaism holds that if, for example, a beggar says hello and we ignore him we bear the guilt of inflicting upon him shame (bushah). It may be that the beggar offered us the only thing he has to give – a greeting. To deliberately ignore him is, in effect, an insult because such silence denies his dignity (kavod) and diminishes him as a fellow human being.
A story is told of the Chassidic sage Rabbi Meshulam Zusha of Hanipol (1718–1800) that one night he was staying at an inn. A wealthy guest mistook him for a beggar and treated him disrespectfully. The guest later learned about Zusha’s true identity and asked Zusha for forgiveness.
Zusha said, “Why do you ask me to forgive you? You haven’t done anything to Zusha. You didn’t insult Zusha. You insulted a poor beggar. I suggest you go out and ask beggars everywhere to forgive you.”
Zusha’s story raises the issue of how we should properly treat people we perceive as being “other” than ourselves (i.e. the stranger, or someone of a different socio-economic station, nationality, ethnicity, race, or religion).
It is possible to learn much about a person’s character based solely on the way he or she treats someone who is different. Is such a person’s behavior respectful and kind, open-hearted and generous, or is he/she dismissive, rude, condescending, and withholding?
The Baal Shem Tov taught his disciples to imagine that inscribed on the forehead of every man, woman and child is the sign of the image in which God creates the human being – B’tzelem Elohim (lit. “In the Divine image”).
In practical terms, seeing the divine image in “others” means at the very least acknowledging their presence, and returning phone calls and emails promptly regardless of what we imagine to be the reason for the call. Again, my only exception is when I know that the caller will be abusive and disrespectful.
Not responding is common particularly in Washington, D.C. and Hollywood, places where power and politics define many relationships, and what you do is more important than who you are. It seems to me that this bad habit has become increasingly more common over the years.
Going forward, those of us who are guilty of this kind of behavior might change it, and that all of us should be teaching our children, grandchildren, and students by example that when we receive a communication from another person, the decent thing to do is answer it, even if our answer is respectfully “No!”
08 Monday Apr 2013
Posted in Uncategorized
Two important blogs have appeared in recent days shining a light on the desecration of the holiest site in Judaism, the Western Wall (Hakotel), at the hands of the Chief rabbi of the Kotel, Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz and the Jerusalem District Police Chief Yossi Pariente.
Not only are women not allowed to wear a tallit as they pray in this holy site, they are also barred from singing the Psalms of David and the Jewish liturgy aloud, and from reading from a Torah scroll. Now, there is a new controversy that threatens to prohibit women from saying the Mourner’s Kaddish at the Kotel.
Who makes those decisions? One man, who Susan Ester Barnes (below) rightly calls a “dictator,” the Chief Rabbi of the Kotel with the acquiescence of the Jerusalem District Police Chief.
According to Katharine Nasielski’s blog (below):
“Jewish Agency chairman Natan Sharansky met with Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz, chairman of the Western Wall Heritage Foundation. He told the rabbi in their meeting, “The Kotel must continue to be a symbol of unity for all Jews in the world and not a symbol of strife and discord.” According to Sharansky, Rabbi Rabinowitz ensured him that the restrictions would be stepped back, although we are still waiting for that statement to be made formally.”
These two blogs will bring you up to date. Communicate directly with Prime Minister Netanyahu your outrage that anyone controls the religious character of the most important religious site in Judaism.
Women Barred from Mourning at the Kotel? By Katharine Nasielski http://blogs.rj.org/rac/2013/04/04/women-barred-from-mourning-at-the-kotel/
07 Sunday Apr 2013
Posted in Holidays, Jewish History, Poetry
Tags
Tonight and tomorrow is Yom Hashoah, Holocaust Memorial Day. The following poem recalls the lives of the 1.5 million children who perished:
“Who stays in his nest and doesn’t go out. / He doesn’t know what birds know best / Nor what I want to sing about, / That the world is full of loveliness. / When dewdrops sparkle in the grass / And earth’s a flood with morning light, / A blackbird sings upon a bush / To greet the dawning after night. / Then I know how fine it is to live.
Heh, try to open up your heart / To beauty; go to the woods someday / And weave a wreath of memory there. / Then if the tears obscure your way / You’ll know how wonderful it is to be alive.”
Zichronam livracha – May the memory of the righteous be a blessing.
03 Wednesday Apr 2013
Harriet Rossetto was a bright Jewish kid with success written all over her. Like other young women growing up in the early 1960s, she went to college, got married, had a child, and hoped to live happily ever after. It didn’t turn out quite that way, but today she is more fulfilled than she ever expected to be.
Harriet is the CEO and Founder of Los Angeles’ renowned non-profit drug and alcohol treatment organization called Beit T’shuvah (House of Return), the only institution of its kind for Jews in the US. She earned an MSW and then, as she describes her life at 45, she became unemployed and homeless, hitting rock bottom. From that place one day she picked up an LA Times classified ad for a job as a Social Worker at the county jail. The ad specified the need for “a person of Jewish background and culture to help incarcerated Jewish offenders. MSW required.”
That turned out to be a fateful day. The job, working with Jewish addicts and cons, led Harriet to found Beit T’shuvah and meet her husband and partner, himself an addict and con, who would eventually be ordained Rabbi Mark Borovitz.
Harriet is brutally honest and self-revealing about herself, her struggles, her life and addictions. She also speaks movingly of the central role her return to Judaism played in her journey, offering the essence of what she discovered this way:
“Judaism began to rest on a few core beliefs that helped me redefine my perception of myself, of others and of the purpose of life.
I matter. You matter. I have a holy soul. I am imperfect by design. My value is a birthright. Change is possible and mandatory. Right action is the bridge to wholeness of self.”
Harriet recognizes that her formerly negative view of life, that “nothing matters and who cared anyway, had been shifting: Everything [now] mattered, I realized. Everything. As Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote: something sacred is at stake in every event.”
Hers and Mark’s quest turned out to be the classical Jewish mystical quest, to confront both the darkness and light in the individual soul, and to struggle towards the light.
It is an irony that this child of middle class Jewish parents found her most natural home among addicts. She identified with them, struggled along with them, hit bottom like them, and became their teacher and guide:
“My qualification to be your life teacher is I have been where you are. I’ve seen it all. I know your torment, your war against yourself. I have battle-hardened experience and I still struggle every day. And I have learned how to live an integrated life. You will too. You are sure that whatever you’re addicted to is the only thing that will relieve the misery of your emptiness, the hole that aches. Without (fill in your own blanks) drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, food, money, power and prestige… there is no reason to get up in the morning….you will want to use again, and you might. But if you don’t, one day you will start to feel better. Alive again, in fact.”
Harriet teaches that, similar to other 12 step programs, “faith in a Power greater than oneself was necessary in order to stay sober. The addict has to learn how to live from within and stop seeking external solutions to internal discomfort.”
Unlike other 12 step programs, hers is based in Torah and Judaism:
“Torah is the Big book of Jewish recovery from human broken-ness. We believe if you can see yourself in every Parsha it is the Path to Shalem (wholeness) and Shalom (Peace of Mind.)”
Those accepted into Beit T’shuvah for treatment are required to live according to strict rules of the house. Prayer, meditation and learning Torah are essential components of daily life, alongside productive work, therapy and mutual support.
Beit T’shuvah is funded solely by voluntary contributions. No one is turned away because of inability to pay. Grateful parents and grandparents, foundations and friends support it because it works.
Harriet’s spiritual memoir is a moving tale of ongoing recovery; hers, Rabbi Mark’s, and all those who pass through. Her story, though unique and extraordinary, in truth is everyone’s story because each of us can locate ourselves somewhere along that continuum of addiction to non-addiction. We’re all broken somehow. All of us yearn for healing and liberation from our personal Mitzrayim (“Egypt” – lit. “the narrow constricted places” that enslave us and bow our heads).
Harriet’s book is one more thing – It is a moving testimony to the capacity of each one of us to lift ourselves up, turn our lives around, one step at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time.
Yasher kochachechem, Harriet and Mark!
31 Sunday Mar 2013
Tags
American Jewish Life, American Politics and Life, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Social Justice
President Obama’s Jerusalem speech has been praised by most American Jewish Organizations for his eloquent support of Israel, its security, his respect for the historic Jewish attachment to the land of Israel, his tough stand against the Iranian nuclear threat, and his desire to help the parties resolve the Arab-Israeli conflict.
I should be happy with this praise, but I am instead worried, not for what most of these organizations said in their press releases following Obama’s Middle East visit, but by what they did not say.
In reading the statements of the American Jewish Committee (AJC), the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism (RAC), the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC), the Zionist Organization of America (ZOA), and J Street, in all but the RAC and J Street statements something important was missing.
The AJC quoted Obama as “reaffirming the US supported goal of a negotiated two state-solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict” and calling “on the Palestinians to return to direct talks with Israel…” noting that the President praised “Abbas as a partner for peace.”
The ADL said that “The President conveyed a deep understanding of important challenges facing Israel, including the peace process…” and “that the peace process can only be achieved through negotiations without preconditions…”
AIPAC noted that both Obama and Netanyahu “share the view that direct talks should resume between the Israelis and Palestinians without preconditions, with the objective of two states for two peoples.”
The ZOA made no mention of a two-state solution because it does not support a two-state solution.
Here are the relevant remarks in the RAC and J Street statements that are missing from all the others:
The RAC, quoting Obama, repeated: “Israelis must recognize that continued settlement activity is counterproductive to the cause of peace and that an independent Palestine must be viable, with real borders that have to be drawn. I’ve suggested principles on territory and security that I believe can be the basis for these talks.”
J Street said: “[Obama] also laid out the moral case for peace with the Palestinians, based on full recognition of their national right to self-determination and their right to build their lives free of the daily humiliations of military occupation. The President also made it clear that peace is possible and that Israel does have partners in …Abbas and…Fayyad…who are committed to negotiations and to a peaceful solution.”
It seems to me that in their press statements the organized American Jewish community ignored most of the 20 minutes of the President’s 49 minute address that spoke directly and compassionately to the Israeli people about the plight of the Palestinians under occupation and their legitimate rights to a national home of their own side by side with Israel.
Here are a few of the most important lines of Obama’s speech that were not eluded to except by the RAC and J Street:
“[T]he Palestinian people’s right to self-determination and justice must also be recognized. Put yourself in their shoes – look at the world through their eyes.
Neither occupation nor expulsion is the answer. Just as Israelis built a state in their homeland, Palestinians have a right to be a free people in their own land.
Peace is possible. It is possible. I’m not saying it’s guaranteed. I can’t even say that it is more likely than not, but it is possible.
Let me say this as a politician, I can promise you this: political leaders will never take risks if the people do not push them to take some risks. You must create the change that you want to see. Ordinary people can accomplish extraordinary things.
Today, as we face the twilight of Israel’s founding generation, you – the young people of Israel – must now claim its future. It falls to you to write the next chapter in the great story of this great nation.
What concerns me is the potentially obstructionist role that some in the organized American Jewish community might take (as has happened in the past) when President Obama and Secretary Kerry put concrete proposals on the table about borders, settlements, security, Jerusalem, and refugees. I hope that what is missing in their press statements are merely oversights. I hope as well that the organized American Jewish community will support President Obama fully in his efforts without second guessing him and without partisan rancor in order to help the Israelis and Palestinians find an end of conflict two-state solution without getting in his way.
If this occurs in this next year, come Pesach 2014 we will truly be able to say – Dayeinu!
27 Wednesday Mar 2013
Posted in Book Recommendations, Health and Well-Being, Life Cycle, Stories, Uncategorized
Letty Cottin Pogrebin has written an indispensable guide when a member of one’s family or a dear friend becomes ill or suffers a tragic death. In great detail she offers counsel on what to do, say and not say, how to respond and be the friend the stricken most needs.
Letty is a founding editor of Ms Magazine, an award winning journalist, a non-fiction and fiction writer (this is her 10th book), a political and peace activist, and a loving wife, mother, grandmother, and friend.
As a rabbi who confronts every kind of illness, trauma, disability, and loss, I have not seen a more complete and exhaustive guide than this book on how we can all help each other when we are in need of a friend.
Letty is insightful, intuitive, generous, kind, empathetic, warm hearted, and loving. She is refreshingly self-revealing in this book and so the book is also an autobiographical chronicle, which gives the reader permission to be vulnerable and to share with our own loved ones our vulnerabilities and needs.
She was moved to write this volume after being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009. During and after treatment Letty was struck by how her family and friends reacted to her, how awkward some were and how others understood what she needed and how to help, support and nurture her.
In her research she spoke with more than 80 fellow patients, family and friends who had had cancer, heart disease, HIV/AIDS, Alzheimer’s, Crohn’s Disease, diabetes, MS, Parkinson’s Disease, mental illness, dementia, catastrophic financial ruin, and the death of children. She interviewed doctors, nurses, and hospital workers, clergy of various faith traditions, and complete strangers. She learned the Do’s and Don’ts of interacting with the ill and their families, that there is no one template on how to behave, that everyone has different needs, and that sensitive friends will thoughtfully think through what makes sense for the individuals they love and what are their unique needs, and then behave accordingly.
“The stories I collected from others,” she wrote, “helped me understand my own reactions and fueled my determination to be a better friend to my ailing friends. Among other lessons, I learned that it’s not enough to be a good hearted person if you’re oblivious to the pain in someone’s eyes; that friendship can nourish, help, and heal but also disappoint and suffocate. With every interview I marveled at how thin and permeable is the membrane between good intentions and bad behavior, how human it is to be both strong and vulnerable, and how people process the sickness, stress, and sorrow of their friends in many different ways.”
Letty considers every conceivable aspect of how to refine the art of friendship when a dear one becomes ill or suffers loss. She reviews “Goofs, Gaffes, Platitudes, Faux Pas, Blunders, Blitherings – and Finding the Right Words at the Right Time.” She reflects on what to ask of a patient and what to avoid saying. She offers a list of “Ten Commandments for Conversing with a Sick Friend” and enumerates who should visit and what constitutes a “good visit.” Her list of “Twenty Rules for Good Behavior While Visiting the Sick, Suffering, Injured, or Disabled” is a common sense guide that even those with plenty of sechel are well-advised to review.
Letty considers as well the differences between men and women in their coping with illness, about the importance of being sensitive to a person’s shame and/or need for privacy, and the necessity that friends always “show up.”
She writes: “Entering other people’s truth, I learned that illness is friendship’s proving ground, the uncharted territory where one’s actions may be the least sure-footed but also the most indelible; that illness tests old friendships, gives rise to new ones, changes the dynamics of a relationship, causes a shift in the power balance, a reversal of roles, and assorted weird behaviors; that in the presence of a sick friend, fragile folks can get unhinged and Type A personalities turn manic in order to compensate for their impotence; and that hale fellows can become insufferably paternalistic, and shy people suddenly wax sanctimonious.”
Letty not only talks the talk, but walks the walk. When I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in early 2009 requiring surgery and radiation (I am fine now) just before Letty’s own diagnosis, she was an attentive friend from across the country. Supportive, nurturing and kind I felt seen and cared about that inspires my gratitude still.
What she learned subsequent to her own diagnosis deepened her capacity and understanding not only of what she needed, but what others need. Now she has written a book that offers the reader the benefits of her experience, wisdom and love.
I recommend this volume without reservation.
24 Sunday Mar 2013
Posted in Uncategorized
Tags
American Jewish Life, Holidays, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Social Justice, Women's Rights
Rabbi Uri Regev, Founder and Director of Hiddush, asked me to write a Passover Supplement for inclusion in your family Seder on themes and values upon which both the State of Israel and the United States are founded. That piece is titled:
“Imagine: Liberation, Marriage and Gender Equality in Israel and the Diaspora”
You can find it here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/jbvbysnwmfo2b8l/Hiddush%20Seder%20Supplement.pdf
Hiddush is Israel’s leading civic organization dedicated to the implementation of the basic values guaranteed in Israel’s Declaration of Independence – freedom of religion and equality – without which no enlightened democracy can exist. See for more information – http://www.hiddush.org/
In light of President Obama’s extraordinary address to the people of Israel and his commitment to bring the leaders of Israel and the Palestinians together to negotiate a two-state end of conflict peace agreement, Ba-shanah haba-ah Bi-y’rushalayim – Next year [May there be a real peace] in Jerusalem.
Hag Pesach Sameach from my family to yours.
22 Friday Mar 2013
Tags
American Jewish Life, Divrei Torah, Holidays, Israel and Palestine, Israel/Zionism, Jewish History, Musings about God/Faith/Religious Life
Nothing in the Seder is as it appears. Each symbol, midrash, vignette, poem, and song evokes layers of meaning that help fashion the Jewish heart, mind and soul. The Seder carries such deep religious, cultural, moral, historical, and political significance that Passover is among the richest and most observed rites in Judaism today.
A little known figure in the Haggadah is worth mention especially in light of the President’s journey to the Middle East this week. His name is Nachshon, the son of Aminadav.
Nachshon is not mentioned in the Biblical exodus story per se (he is cited in Numbers 1:7 as the chief in the Tribe of Judah), yet he looms large in rabbinic literature as a critically important figure in the narrative at the Sea of Reeds.
It is written that as the Israelites fled Egypt they faced before them the impassable Sea and behind them in the pursuing Egyptian army. Terrified, they turned on Moses and cried, “Why did you bring us here to perish?”
“Rabbi Judah says: ‘When the Israelites stood at the sea one said: ‘I don’t want to go down to the sea first.’ Another said: ‘I don’t want to go down first either.’ While they were standing there, and while Moses was praying to God to save them, Nachshon the son of Aminadav jumped up, went down and fell into the waves.’” Talmud (Bavli, Sota 36a), Mechilta (Parashat B’shalach)
What is the meaning?
First, that Moses’ prayers were insufficient to convince God to split the sea. Only when Nachshon took the initiative and jumped into the waters did God respond.
Second, at a very early stage in Israel’s history there was a basic understanding about the mutual relationship between God and humankind, that though the people might have felt alone and abandoned, God was with them all along.
Nachshon’s “leap” was a significant turning point in the Jewish experience. His willingness to take history into his own hands became a fundamental tenet of Jewish religious activism and a defining element in the character of the Jewish hero.
This past week, J Street, a pro Israel pro peace Political Action Committee in Washington, D.C., published an insert on the symbolism of the Karpas. It was written by my teacher, Rabbi Richard Levy, and intended for family Seders this year. What follows is a portion of Rabbi Levy’s moving text:
“On the nights of Passover we celebrate Israel crossing the …Sea from slavery to freedom. In this light, karpas has other overtones: we remember the heroic example of Nachshon ben Aminadav, who was the first to step into the salty sea. As the Israelites faced the raging waters, Nachshon alone plunged in. Because of his courage, the Midrash tells us, God divided the sea in two so that all the people of Israel could walk across. When our karpas represents Nachshon, …the salt water no longer suggests tears, but the grit of heroes.
Nachshon represents those willing to stand up against the raging waters of intimidation, to state what is right and just and reasonable. In our time Nachshon might say: Israel can be freed of her occupying status and survive as a just, peaceful, and secure state only alongside a just, peaceful and secure Palestinian state… if enough people, ordinary citizens like Nachshon, speak enough to the leaders who represent them, they too will understand that the waters can part, that the just and practical solution – a two-state solution – can emerge out of the depths, and the freedom and peace of two peoples can be assured.”
At this critically important moment when hope flickers still that peace can be achieved, I offer my prayers for the success of American efforts to assist Israel and the Palestinians in arriving at a two-state solution leading to an end of conflict peace agreement.
I pray that President Obama and Secretary Kerry will utilize all their wisdom, resources, strength, and stamina to do what must be done.
And I pray that the Israeli Government and the Palestinian Authority may seize this opportunity together to achieve what should have been done years ago to end this bloody and demoralizing conflict once and for all, thereby allowing two states to flower and thrive side by side in security and peace in a new Middle East.
Ken yehi ratzon – May it be God’s will and ours.
Shabbat shalom and Chag Pesach sameach.
Rabbi John Rosove's Blog 